The following podcast is a deer media production.

Welcome to Raising Good Humans. I'm Dr. Lisa Pressman and today's episode. I'm talking

with Claire Learner, who was the director of parenting resources at zero to three

national center for infants toddlers and families, which is for those of you who don't know

an extraordinary nonprofit dedicated to promoting the healthy development and well-being of

infants toddlers and their families. And now Claire is a psychotherapist who specializes

in young children and families. Claire is also the author of a practical, and I say this because

that is so unusual, a really practical book called Why is My Child in Charge, a roadmap to

empower struggles, increase cooperation, and find joy in parenting in children. So the reason

I had Claire on today is because I wanted to have a really probably controversial conversation

and difficult conversation about the and then what when kids are hyper aroused and really

aggressive. So the reason I asked Claire to join me for this conversation is because I wanted to

have is because I have received so many DMs on my Instagram at Raising Good Humans podcast,

where people hear the more typical approaches to supporting your child's nervous system

and setting limits and being sensitive and understanding the behavior

in terms of what needs are needed and understanding that behavior is communication.

But then in the heat of the moment with aggressive behavior,

setting kids up who have that hyper arousal for success can look quite different and it

doesn't get talked about very often outside of clinical settings because it's a harder conversation

to have. It's so unique and individual and so what happens is it makes people uncomfortable

but what happens if you've done the mindfulness work, if you've tried the breathing,

if you've tried helping with a physical connection or letting your child know you are available

...