From the Boston Globe, this is Love Letters.

I'm Meredith Goldstein.

A lot of people make big changes after a breakup.

They chop all their hair off, or paint their apartment walls a totally crazy color.

Sometimes people become vegans, and other times vegans become total carnivores.

As an advice columnist, I'm especially interested in the people who take it even further.

They move across the country, or sometimes they go back to school and change their entire careers

or in the case of one of my close friends she went from climbing mountains in New Hampshire

to deciding that she had to conquer Mount Kilimanjaro. My first thought when

she told me this was like, okay you are not doing this. This is how people die. Some backstory this friend had been dating her boyfriend for years. They loved hiking together.

And then she broke up with him, like multiple times. But when it was over for real and she realized what she lost, she wanted him back.

But at that point though, he was done.

So they're broken up and she decides that to move on, she must hike Kilimanjaro.

And I tell her, it is so clear that you are doing this for attention, like so he'll notice

you and take you back.

And she's like, no, no, no, I'm doing this for me.

And that made me think, do these big breakup accomplishments help ease heartache?

Or are they really just ploys to get our exes back?

In my friend's case, she did hike Kilimanjaro, and her ex did notice.

They got back together and even got married.

But this story is totally the exception to the rule. They got married.

But this story is totally the exception to the rule.

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