S17 Ep290: Overcoming People Pleasing and Codependency in Dating and Relationships with Debra Fileta
Heart of Dating
That Sounds Fun Network
4.8 • 2.1K Ratings
🗓️ 25 February 2026
⏱️ 48 minutes
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| 0:00.0 | Behind every people pleaser was once a parent pleaser. At the end of the day, people pleasing is not actually for you. It's for me. It's to make me feel valuable. So I'm serving and giving from a place that ultimately is out of selfishness because it's for me. Sometimes we talk about people |
| 0:22.4 | pleasing, like it's a badge of honor, just like part of a personality, like introvert, |
| 0:26.2 | extrovert, when it's actually dysfunctional. We shouldn't be people pleasers. We should be |
| 0:31.2 | God pleasers. The opposite of people pleasing and passivity would be somebody who's assertive, who is able to respect |
| 0:39.8 | their needs all while respecting the person in front of them. I don't want to be tethered |
| 0:46.0 | to another human being because it brings so much instability to my life. Even my husband. |
| 0:53.6 | And he is perfect. |
| 0:55.8 | He's literally almost perfect. |
| 0:58.2 | I don't want to be tethered to his opinion of me for the moments that he's not perfect. |
| 1:16.6 | Online I'm like such a people pleaser. |
| 1:18.0 | Me too. |
| 1:20.3 | That's not a good thing. |
| 1:25.2 | And if you're a people pleaser, it actually needs to stop. |
| 1:25.8 | Yes. |
| 1:30.8 | So if you wanted to stop, today's's episode definitely to love her so much. |
| 1:34.1 | Yeah, she's a counselor, faith-based counselor. |
| 1:35.6 | She's one of our dear friends. |
| 1:38.2 | Faith forward counselor is what she says. |
| 1:40.6 | She's written tons of books. |
| 1:45.3 | Also books applied to dating she's written like true love dates. It's so good. |
| 1:51.3 | And she cares so much about singles and healthy relationships. And today we dive into people pleasing. Like what are the signs? I loved when she went through that list of like, if you |
| 1:55.8 | struggle with any of these, you struggle with people pleasing. I was like, oops, I've got a lot on |
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