S14 Ep2: Hags, Most Horrid!
The Midnight Library
Scott Philbrook
4.6 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 19 April 2026
⏱️ 40 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Greetings, Dear Guests! We have for you this fine evening the opportunity to get to know some...unusual ladies. Okay. Hags. We'd like you to meet and take into your mushy, human heart a variety of horrific hags! We believe you'll find these unique women are often just misunderstood and have been mislabeled by a close-minded society. We also believe you'll find them to be mysterious, unpredictable...and hungry. From Ancient Greece to modern times, hags have been in the very midsts of mankind, and we suggest you warm up to them! Welcome...
Special Thanks to Sounds Like an Earful Music Supply for the amazing music AND sound design.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Astonishing Legends Network. |
| 0:04.0 | The following is intended for bizarre audiences only. |
| 0:12.0 | Welcome to the guest. Canine lady friend has arrived for her stay. |
| 0:39.3 | I'll be tending to the guest. |
| 0:42.1 | She's very nearly one of your kind, darling. |
| 0:46.1 | Could you please be a bit more cordial toward her? |
| 0:50.1 | She's nothing of the sort, far more mutt than wolf. |
| 0:55.0 | Um, Oswang hags are a majestic breed I'll have you know. |
| 1:01.0 | Yes, and I'll have you know, she's just majestically dragged her bottom on the breezeway rug. |
| 1:10.0 | Oh, how ignomonious! |
| 1:13.6 | He he. |
| 1:17.6 | Good evening. |
| 1:23.1 | Oh, yeah, yeah. |
| 1:24.3 | Oh, dear. |
| 1:26.2 | I see several of you are rushing over to the hospitality tray. |
| 1:30.4 | Uh, just let me warn, not warn, let me inform you about your, um, impending selections, dear guests. |
| 1:41.3 | My, my, my, my. |
| 1:43.7 | Uh, um, first, I'm proud to say that all of the luscious and mysterious edibles this evening |
| 1:51.1 | have been made for you by... |
| 1:55.0 | I was going to say my oldest grandmothers and aunts and a few of their friends. But I'll say my most |
| 2:09.2 | wise and mature grandmother's aunts and a few of their, um, friends. |
| 2:26.1 | Um, all of them very caring and, um, exacting women. |
... |
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