Good, sir, nozzy.

We're going to be.

The United The Good evening and welcome the Monsters Among Us.

I'm your guide.

Dergays.

Season's greetings in a festive winter solstice to you.

On this our darkest night of the year.

And as we all know, that darkness brings with it a menagerie of terrifying truths, harsh realities, and the bitter,

brutal cold.

Now this point in mankind's perpetual journey is often marked by strife, misery, lingering death, and the signs of harder days to come.

And a constant reminder of all what we've survived.

A prophecy of sorts, warning us of sunless months that lay ahead,

where monsters of all sorts slink in the shadows. But fear not, dear listener, for those wintertime terrors are kept at bay this holiday season.

Roaring fireplaces and busy hearths replace frigid and lonely evenings.

Families and friends rejoice.

Food and drink are plenty.

And for a short while, we can forget that death waits just outside our thresholds.

So drag up a chair, dim the lanterns, and pour a fresh eggnog.

Maybe grab a Christmas cookie or two. Because tonight we explore your Christmas stories.

Beginning this evening on the subject of toys, the industry churns them out and parents

gobble them up to the tune of some 300 billion a year.

But what if this year's big item

...