S13 EP6: Here’s how to get through change and loneliness.
The Thick Thighs Save Lives Podcast
Constantly Varied Gear
4.9 • 724 Ratings
🗓️ 23 December 2025
⏱️ 70 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Why are you unhappy, even when everything in your life looks “fine” from the outside?
In this episode, happiness expert and bestselling author Gretchen Rubin breaks down the real reasons people feel unhappy, unfulfilled, or stuck, and why traditional advice about happiness often fails. We talk about the hidden causes of unhappiness, the habits that quietly drain joy, and the practical changes that actually lead to lasting happiness.
You’ll learn why happiness is not a personality trait, why chasing happiness can make you feel worse, and how to build a happier life in a realistic, sustainable way, without toxic positivity or pressure to “just be grateful.”
If you’ve ever asked yourself “Why am I unhappy?” or “Why don’t I feel happy even though my life is good?”, this conversation will change how you think about happiness.
In this episode:
Why people feel unhappy even when life is going well
Common happiness myths that make people feel worse
The habits that quietly reduce happiness
How to increase happiness in everyday life
Practical advice from Gretchen Rubin’s research
About Gretchen Rubin:
Gretchen Rubin is a bestselling author, Founder of The Happiness Project, and one of today’s leading experts on happiness, habits, and human nature. Her books include The Happiness Project, Better Than Before, The Four Tendencies and Outer Order, Inner Calm and more.
Gretchen’s links:
Happier with Gretchen Rubin Podcast
(00:01:02) Welcome Gretchen Rubin to the podcast.
(00:05:00) Gretchen’s beginnings and journey from law student to happiness expert.
(00:09:27) What IS happiness anyways? Can we define it?
(00:14:50) Can you control our own happiness? What if bad stuff happens?
(00:19:40) Gretchen bestsellers: “Better Than Before” and “The Four Tendencies”
(00:27:10) Why you shouldn’t fight your fundamental natural tendency.
(00:36:27) Why we need to know ourselves for better communication and how not to judge others but see them.
(00:42:25) Change is hard. And what to do when lonely.
(00:51:38) Is being unhappy a default human setting?
(00:59:39) Do we need hobbies to be happy?
(01:08:06) Where to find and hear more from Gretchen Rubin.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | I mean, if there's one thing that I've learned about happiness, like more and more, |
| 0:03.3 | the more I researched it, is there's just no magic one size fits all solution. |
| 0:07.4 | And anybody who says, like, do these seven things, I'm like, maybe, but maybe you need to do |
| 0:14.1 | just the opposite or you need to do five and not the other two because people really are different. |
| 0:23.0 | Hey, everybody. We've had some of the most incredible guests coming to you these past |
| 0:28.5 | couple months. The amount of expertise and knowledge on these cutting edge topics is something |
| 0:36.3 | we really hope that you enjoy. And if you do, it would make a |
| 0:41.0 | huge difference to us if you could rate, review and subscribe the podcast. It helps us to get |
| 0:46.2 | more guests, better experts, and talk about all of the things that are really important to you. |
| 0:53.1 | So give us a love. Give us a lot of love, and don't forget to subscribe so you get all |
| 1:00.0 | our new episodes. |
| 1:01.7 | Hi, everybody, and welcome back to the Six-Size Save Lives podcast. |
| 1:06.0 | I'm Rachel, and you won't even believe who we have for you today. |
| 1:11.8 | The happiness guru, unbelievably successful, author, podcast, host, and incredible entrepreneur |
| 1:21.3 | of a woman. |
| 1:23.1 | Gretchen Rubin is here. |
| 1:24.6 | Thank you for being with us, Gretchen. |
| 1:26.4 | I'm so happy to be talking to you. Gretchen Rubin is here. Thank you for being with us, Gretchen. I'm so happy to be talking to you. |
| 1:29.3 | Gretchen is the host of Happier with Gretchen Rubin with 220 million downloads. You probably have heard an episode or two. |
| 1:39.8 | If you haven't, get on there. She's got a fantastic pod. |
| 1:48.0 | Tons of awards and award mentions. |
| 1:55.7 | Oprah Daily, Entrepreneur Magazine, Readers Digest, like everybody is on to the value of this podcast. |
... |
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