S11E18: How you're wired (for relationships)

Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Yue Xu and Julie Krafchick

Relationships, Society & Culture, Sexuality, Health & Fitness, Social Sciences, Science

4.7 • 910 Ratings

🗓️ 16 December 2020

⏱️ 113 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

If you're into attachment theory & personality types, prepare to have your mind blown as we chat with Dr. Avigail Lev, PsyD about how our thought patterns and beliefs (aka our schemas) shape everything from how we show up for relationships to which partners we choose. We discuss how early childhood shapes how we show up in relationships today, the love traps we tend to fall into due to our beliefs, and how you can change your behavior to have the love life you've always wanted Learn more about Dr. Avigail Lev and her services at CBT Online (https://cbtonline.com) and Bay Area CBT (https://bayareacbtcenter.com). Take the relationship schema quiz to find out your own: https://bayareacbtcenter.com/relationship-schema-quiz Follow us @dateablepodcast. Check out our website for more content, virtual live show dates, and merch. Join the Sounding Board at https://www.dateablepodcast.com/soundingboard Thank you to our partners for this episode: BetterHelp: Get 10% off your first month of online therapy at betterhelp.com/dateable with the code DATEABLE Thrive Cosmetics: Get 15% off your first purchase at https://thrivecausemetics.com/dateable with the code DATEABLE Magic Spoon: Grab a variety pack of Magic Spoon healthy high protein, low carb cereal at magicspoon.com/DATEABLE and try it today! Use the code DATEABLE at checkout to get free shipping. NEW MERCH! We just dropped our line of merch with masks, cute tanks & tees, comfy sweatshirts, mugs, stickers, and much more! Check it out today: http://dateablepodcast.com.com/shop Cover art Photography Credit: Larry Wong #lwongphoto Dateable is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more outstanding podcasts to subscribe to at frolic.media/podcasts WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/ Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE Our Sponsors: * Avocado Green Mattress: Check out their mattress and furniture sale: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/DATEABLE * Get Rain of Shadows and Endings wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable * Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code DATEABLE at https://ruggable.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcript

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0:00.0	The dateable podcast is an insider's look into modern dating that the
0:04.8	Huffington Post calls one of the top 10 podcasts about love and sex. On each
0:09.5	episode we'll talk to real daters about everything from sex parties to sex droughts, date fails to diaper
0:15.3	fetishes, and first moves to first loves.
0:17.8	I'm your host, U.S.U.
0:19.4	Former dating coach turned dating sociologist.
0:22.0	You also hear from my co-host and producer Julie Craft Chick
0:25.2	as we explore this crazy datable world.
0:28.1	What's up everyone? Welcome to another episode of Datable, a show all about modern
0:36.4	dating where we dig into the wise of people's behavior and the wise of
0:41.4	your own behavior and this episode in
0:43.9	particular we really go deep into the wise but before we get into a like why
0:50.2	are we talking about this we just want to say thank you all for attending our community
0:56.7	live stream last week. It was a great turnout, awesome engagement, and some really that we get around the holidays and I think we came to some really good solutions and tactics.
1:15.3	Yeah, it's a weird year. Everyone can say that, like holidays are definitely not the same and I think there was a question
1:21.6	about, you know, what about the New Year's kiss?
1:24.0	Like what about something? It's just not going to happen this year if, unless of course you're in a committed relationship
1:28.9	that you are with them, quarantining or whatever is going on in your specific state.
1:34.1	But we were talking about it and it's definitely a difficult year for people, but
1:40.1	you know, I think one of the things that has helped me is that nothing is forever.
1:43.6	Like we talked about, if you look at pandemic history, like there's in the 1920s,
1:49.0	came out really strong with like the roaring 20s. So I think that's how I get through it is I'm like maybe
	...

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