Hey, so I know last week's episode was rough, you and me both, but I promise we won't be talking

about puppies getting hurt today, or hopefully ever again. We will be talking about mature

topics not intended for all audiences, though, so please do use caution when listening.

Author and Abuse Consultant Lundy Bancroft, and yes, I'm talking about Lundy

Bancroft again, I just, I really love you, Lundy. In his book, why does he do that, inside the

minds of angry and controlling men? He writes, the scars from mental cruelty can be as deep

and long-lasting as wounds from punches or slaps, but are often not

as obvious. In fact, even among women who have experienced violence from a partner, half or more

report that the man's emotional abuse is what's causing them the greatest harm. It takes a village

to raise a child, and the same can be said for abusing a woman.

For her abuser, it can become difficult to abuse her all by himself, so he manipulates others

into helping him.

Lundy notes, most abusive men put on charming faces for their communities, creating a sharp

split between their public image and their private treatment of women and children.

He may be enraged at home, but calm and smiling outside, selfish and self-centered with you,

but generous and supportive with others, domineering at home, but willing to negotiate and compromise

outside, highly negative about females while on his own turf,

but a vocal supporter of equality when anyone else is listening, violent towards his partner

or children, but nonviolent and non-threatening with everyone else.

Entitled at home, but critical of other men who disrespect or assault women.

The following are examples of how allies of abusers help support abuse. Social pressure, putting pressure on the woman to

make the relationship work and find a way to hold the family together, regardless of abuse.

...