S1 Ep117: Dubland 116 - Trying To Clean My Ears With A Lit Candle

Dubland

HeadStuff Podcasts

News, Society & Culture, Comedy

5.0 • 569 Ratings

🗓️ 23 January 2019

⏱️ 58 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

It's the first episode of Dubland of 2019! PJ is looking forward to sport, sick of watching the skiing. Suzanne and PJ talk about their dreams of cruise ships and kissing strange men with handlebar moustaches. They talk about the Sunderland Till I Die documentary on Netflix. They move onto the Fyre Festival documentary, and they enjoy the misery that befalls all the organisers. Suzanne and PJ move swiftly onto the big news - the man injecting semen into his arm to cure his back pain. PJ explains that men shouldn't be left on their own - stuff happens (it's hilarious). And then they talk about young lads noticing their willies for the first time, and from the perspective of his four year old self, PJ describes his dad's willy in shocking detail. Suzanne explains her extremely loose grasp of science. Dubland is well and truly back, enjoy! Alternate title: Wriggly little tadpoles running around your elbow. Suzanne and PJ have signed a limited number of Dubland t-shirts! Go and order one before they're gone! Let us know if you want a signed one! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Ladies and gentlemen, you're in for a treat
0:06.4	because you're listening to the Dublin podcast
0:09.2	with Suzanne and PJ
0:12.0	Doveyard, Dublin podcast, Wobyer Airhouse.
0:16.1	Yay, happy new year.
0:18.3	Happy new, very fucking new year.
0:20.2	I haven't seen you since December. No, for ages, yeah. Forever. For ages and ages. So happy new very now, new year. Oh, but you know what? So, like hasn't this month been like an absolute kick in the hole? Like I feel... Yes, January. It's supposed to be a kick in a hole. No. I'm a fucking idea of it's a kick in hole. But how many other months to have
0:39.2	31 days? Like, loads of other months.
0:41.2	But none of them feel like they're kicking the shit out of me as much as January. Although I think it's flying in. Oh, piss off. I think it's flying in. I honestly think it's always one. Normally January feels like it's six months of the year
0:50.6	and then the other six months
0:51.4	just fucking disappear
0:52.4	with a blink of an eye.
0:53.8	Do you not feel like that?
0:54.8	Not this time.
0:55.4	Did you make any resolutions?
0:56.5	No, I fuck all that. months of the year and then the other six months just fucking disappear with a blink of an eye. Do you not feel like that?
0:54.8	Not this time.
0:55.4	Did you make any resolutions?
0:56.5	No, I'm, fuck all that. Okay, right. Goal that. But you're usually really good for a red. I know. I know I do it every year and then there's always one that lets me down. So I've done a new idea where I just write down shit that I'm looking forward to. Oh, what are you looking forward to?
1:08.3	I'm looking forward to
1:09.4	Bowes coming back.
1:10.7	That's this weekend.
	...

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