This podcast is intended for mature audiences and could be triggering to some. Please use discretion when listening.

In Gavin De Becker's book, The Gift of Fear, he writes, unlike when people lived in small communities

and could not escape their past behavior, we live in an age of anonymous one-time encounters.

And many people have become expert at the art of fast persuasion.

Trust, formerly earned through actions, is now purchased with a slide of hand, and slide of words.

I encourage women to explicitly rebuff unwanted approaches, but I know how difficult it is to do.

Just as rapport building has a good reputation, explicitness applied by women in this culture

has a terrible reputation. A woman who is clear and precise is viewed as cold, or a bitch,

or both. A woman is expected first and foremost to respond to every communication from a man, and the response is expected to be one

of willingness and attentiveness. It is considered attractive if she is a bit uncertain,

the opposite of explicit.

Women are expected to be warm and open, and in the context of approaches from male strangers,

warmth lengthens the encounter, raises his expectations,

increases his investment, and at best waste time.

I'm Tiffany Reese, and this is Something Was Wrong.

The following call was recorded on January 22, 2019, the day that we released this podcast.

Hey, dude. I don't... Where to begin? I am reeling.

My mind is reeling.

Dude.

I'm brain dead at this point, to be honest.

Wait, Sarah, is this the first day of the rest of our lives?

This is...

...