S1, Ep 2 Best Friend Therapy: Relationship Games - What games do we play at work, in friendships and with partners? And why do we do it?
Dial Emma
Emma Reed Turrell
4.8 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 4 April 2022
⏱️ 49 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This week we're talking about games. Not Monopoly, as Elizabeth discovered, but the shortcuts we take in relationships to try and get our needs met, without even realising.
Relationship games are the emotional sleight of hand we use to defend our vulnerability but they rarely get us what we want. Emma explains where games stem from and why they get in our way at work and with friends, and Elizabeth looks back on her dating past to understand that what she'd needed was clear communication, not a soulmate who could mind-read. We also discuss the likeability of cheese.
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Emma quotes the work of Eric Berne in this episode. You can find out more at https://ericberne.com/games-people-play/
The Drama Triangle, is a model developed by Stephen Karpman and originally featured in his article: Karpman MD, Stephen (1968). "Fairy tales and script drama analysis". Transactional Analysis Bulletin. 26 (7): 39–43. You can read more about his work at https://karpmandramatriangle.com
If you're interested in the therapeutic approach of Transactional Analysis, which Emma practices, a great entry point is a book by Iain Stewart and Vann Joines called TA Today, available at all good booksellers or at https://www.amazon.co.uk/Today-New-Introduction-Transactional-Analysis/dp/1870244028
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Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk
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Social Media:
Elizabeth Day @elizabday
Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell
Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | With Peloton offering up to £400 of selected bike plus and tread packages, |
| 0:04.7 | you might go all in with their classes and become a marathon training shadow boxing, |
| 0:08.6 | weightlifting, yoga loving, falls of nature. |
| 0:11.2 | Or you may just want to be able to touch your toes. |
| 0:15.0 | From big sweaty goals to bendy toe-touching goals and everything in between, |
| 0:18.8 | start strong with up to £400 of selected Peloton packages. |
| 0:22.7 | Ofference 35th of January 2024. |
| 0:24.7 | Internet connection and Peloton all access membership £39 per month required. |
| 0:28.4 | C1 Peloton.co.uk |
| 0:31.4 | Hello and welcome to Best Friend Therapy. |
| 0:34.0 | I'm Elizabeth Day, author and podcaster and for over 20 years, |
| 0:38.3 | I've been best friends with a therapist. |
| 0:40.8 | That's me. Hello, I'm Emery Terrell and I'm a psychotherapist. |
| 0:44.7 | In my private practice, I talk to clients about the challenges they face in daily life |
| 0:48.7 | and we work together in a non-judgmental, supportive space to increase their sense of well-being. |
| 0:53.3 | And as her BFF, I get all the benefit of her expertise and wisdom for free. |
| 0:58.6 | Emma makes me feel better about life but also helps me to understand why I act the way I do. |
| 1:04.8 | Ah, thanks Liz. |
| 1:06.0 | She's also one of the only people allowed to call me Liz. |
| 1:09.3 | We wanted to open the doors to our friendship and throw a light on the therapy we all need |
| 1:14.0 | in our everyday lives. Each week we'll be chatting about a different topic. |
| 1:18.4 | From coping with anxiety to setting healthy boundaries, |
... |
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