Hello and welcome to hysteria. I'm Erin Ryan. I'm Alyssa Master Monaco. So, Alyssa, it's been a rough week. But, yeah, it has.

I've been realizing over these last couple days

that retreating into the absurd is a really underrated

coping mechanism.

So, in that spirit my question for you this

week is we were living inside a magical realism novel and defying the dying

wish of a powerful woman had bad supernatural consequences,

just how do you think the Republicans who are rushing to confirm a Supreme Court

replacement for RBG might be punished.

Here's one that I thought of.

Ted Cruz's beard develops the ability to speak

and fact checks him by screaming whenever he lies.

Clarence Thomas is forced to live inside Anita Hill's brain.

Oh, that one is almost, that is almost too mean for 100 years of solitude punishment.

Okay, Mitt Romney begins to dramatically shrink over the course of a week until he's

smaller than a mouse and his wife

has to carry him around in a teacup to keep him safe. To double down on your

teacup theme, Mitch McConnell is turned forever into the Caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland and not allowed any of the

wacky tobacco he smokes.

Kelly Loeffler's hands turn into two fish and she must keep them alive by submerging them in buckets of water at all times.

Doctors can find no cure.

That one's real weird.

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