Hi, my name is Russell Brand and I feel nervous about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

I can tell that we are going to be friends.

Welcome to Conan O'Brien, needs a friend, friendly little podcast. It's just

chugging its way along, like a friendly little locomotive with big eyes.

What's that show that had locomotives that had eyes? Big eyes. Thomas the train?

Yes, I'm like one of the little Thomas the Tank engines. I don't think you are.

You've been on television for 27 years. I know, but we're a little podcast.

I'm like the machine behind you.

I'm a podcast now. I think of us as a happy little Thomas the Tank engine train.

It's got those blinking eyes. I'm of course the lead engine, the crucial part of the whole apparatus.

Nothing moves without me. Then I haul a lot of just freight behind me.

I got to point out, you can hear sonas here. You're like six compartments back.

You're a freezer compartment that holds just giant dead steers.

What? That sucks.

I'm sorry, you're very useful. That's the only way to get the meat to the Midwest.

To the Midwest, where do you think it comes from? Conan, take it easy.

That point is, normally, Gorley would be jumping in and objecting and saying,

you suck and not me, man. I do a lot around here. Hey, man.

Is he teaching John?

Yeah. But Gorley is not here today. Gorley is not with us.

And how's the podcast doing? Chugging along just fine without him.

My point is that I, the lead locomotive, ejected one car.

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