Rolling Blunts for a Money Launderer (w/ Brooke Candy)
Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer
Headgum & Nicole Byer
4.9 • 16K Ratings
🗓️ 23 January 2026
⏱️ 56 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Rapper and songwriter Brooke Candy (host of Unwrapped) joins Nicole to discuss meeting her future husband in a desert shack and moving in with him after only a week. She shares the time her wig fell off mid-hookup, what made her go from open relationships to a monogamous one, and relationship texting styles.
Brooke relives her jobs in the HUSTLER office, working as a stripper, and being a blunt-roller for a money laundering front. Plus, Nicole shares her theory on why she is murder-proof.
Check out her podcast Unwrapped, with Nicole Byer.
Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcast
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Want to watch this episode? |
| 0:01.3 | Catch the full video on YouTube. |
| 0:03.3 | Just hit the link in the episode description. |
| 0:07.0 | This is a headgum podcast. |
| 0:10.5 | New Year, same extra value meals at McDonald's. |
| 0:14.3 | So now get two snack wraps, plus fries and a medium soft drink for just $8. |
| 0:20.4 | For limited time only, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California, and for delivery. We were hooking up. Uh-huh. And I had performed that night, so I had a wig, full glam. It was like very, the outfit, everything was very weird, though. It wasn't like sexy hot glam. It was like freaky. |
| 0:38.5 | Freaky and bizarre. |
| 0:39.5 | I love that. |
| 0:40.1 | Freaky and bizarre, to say the least. |
| 0:42.4 | And we got into the shower. |
| 0:45.7 | And as we were getting the shower, he was standing where the water was. |
| 0:49.3 | And I was giving him a blowjob. |
| 0:52.0 | And I'm trying to make sure that I don't get in, because I know once |
| 0:56.5 | that water hits the hair, it's falling off. And it wasn't, it wasn't like a lace front that's glued on. |
| 1:03.1 | It was basically plopped on your head. Okay. And so as I'm like, it didn't work. I'm like going at it |
| 1:09.9 | and then it just fell. And then he just sees, because it was like long black didn't work. I'm like going at it and then it just fell. |
| 1:11.1 | And then he just sees, because it was like long black hair and I think he thought it was my hair. |
| 1:16.4 | And then he just like sees it. |
| 1:18.8 | And then he's like, it's fine. |
| 1:22.2 | I'm like, I'm like, I just left it there and I just kept going. |
| 1:27.6 | Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? |
... |
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