Robert Biswas-Diener

The One You Feed

Eric Zimmer

Education, Self-improvement, Religion & Spirituality, Health & Fitness, Buddhism, Mental Health

4.6 • 2.5K Ratings

🗓️ 25 November 2014

⏱️ 37 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This week we talk to Robert Biswas-Diener about the upside of your dark side.

Robert Biswas-Diener is a psychologist, author and instructor at Portland State University. Biswas-Diener's research focuses on income and happiness, culture and happiness, and positive psychology. Robert has written a number of books including Happiness: Unlocking The mysteries of Psychological Wealth and The Courage Quotient, and his latest book is called The Upside of Your Darkside:Why Being Your Whole Self, Not Just Your "good"Self -Drives Success and Fulfilment which was co-written with Todd Kashdan.

In This Interview Robert and I Discuss...

The One You Feed parable.
Embracing both sides of our nature.
The benefits of anger, guilt and other "negative" emotions.
Thinking of emotions as a thermometer.
How only having positive emotions is like breaking a thermometer.
How we may not get as stuck in negative emotions as we think we do.
The benefits of being emotionally agile or flexible.
How avoidance and suppression is a bad approach.
That suppression is a very blunt tool and you can't selectively suppress certain emotions.
How avoidance is "the tectonic issue of our times"
Comfort addiction- we have the ability to be more comfortable than any time in history.
How comfort is not the same as happiness.
Finding the middle ground between comfort and effort.
Knowing is not the same as doing.
"Avoiding problems also means avoiding finding the solution to them".
Emotional Time Travel Errors.
Allowing ourselves to experience disappointment.
How the ability to tolerate some degree of psychological discomfort is one of the key attributes to successful living.

Robert Biswas Diener Links
Robert Biswas-Diener Homepage
Robert Biswas -Diener Coaching Training Program
Robert Biswas Diener on Twitter
Robert Biswas-Diener TED Talk

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Suppression is a pretty blunt psychological instrument and what you get when you suppress negative feelings is you also suppress positive feelings.
0:17.2	Welcome to the one you feed.
0:19.2	Throughout time, great thinkers have recognized the importance of the thoughts we have, quotes like garbage in, garbage out, or you are what you think, ring true.
0:29.4	And yet for many of us, our thoughts don't strengthen or empower us. We tend toward negativity, self-pity, jealousy, or fear.
0:38.4	We see what we don't have instead of what we do. We think things that hold us back and dampen our spirit.
0:44.8	But it's not just about thinking. Our actions matter. It takes conscious, consistent, and creative effort to make a life worth living.
0:53.1	This podcast is about how other people keep themselves moving in the right direction. How they feed their good wolf.
1:13.2	Hi, I'm Frida.
1:14.5	And I'm Arty. We have spent the last 20 years building and working at some of the largest companies in the world.
1:20.8	We work with some remarkable people, Rob McEleni.
1:23.9	When I see the people of Rexon, I grew up exactly like them.
1:26.8	Check out the Arty and Sri Ram Show. That is AARTHI and SRIRAM Show.
1:35.6	Listen to the Arty and Sri Ram Show on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.
1:43.3	Thanks for joining us. Our guest today is Robert Biswasdiner, a psychologist, author, and instructor at Portland State University.
1:51.0	Biswasdiner's research focuses on income and happiness, culture and happiness, and positive psychology.
1:57.5	Robert has written a number of books, including his latest, the upside of your dark side,
2:02.2	why being your whole self, not just your good self, drives success and fulfillment.
2:06.5	The book was co-written with Todd Cashton. Here's the interview.
2:10.3	Hi Robert, welcome to the show. Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it.
2:14.0	I am very excited to get you on the show. Your book is right up the alley of a lot of things that we talk about on the show.
2:22.5	One of our, I think our second interview ever was with a guy named Oliver Berkman who wrote a book called The Anodote Happiness for people who hate positive thinking.
2:30.8	So we've explored a lot of the ideas in your book on the show before.
	...

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