crossbow zag

Welcome back to the Ross Bolin podcast. I am Ross Bolin joined by Jared Boros,

low the man they call, J-Bones! Say hello to the beautiful people, Jared, and only the

beautiful people. Hello beautiful people, and if you're ugly, I hope you didn't hear

that. I'm kidding, you're all beautiful on the inside. I'm not kidding.

Speaking of insides, I'm 35 years old now, and I'm fairly confident I'm still undoing

the damage I did to my body and college, my poor, poor insides. Outside I look okay, like

you can't really tell how much horrible shit I did, but I know there was damage done in

there that I can't even really, like that I can't account for. I can't speak for everyone

listening, but I can't speak for Jared and I, and we truly really treated our bodies

like human trash cans during college. Like I was ripping cigarettes, crushing beers,

and all manner of lickers, snorting anything that could be crushed, sticking it in any

hole I could find, I'm kidding about the snorting. It is a minor miracle that I'm still here

considering how terribly I treated my vessel. I ate Chipotle and Taco Bell and chicken

fingers almost exclusively for years during which I was binge drinking several nights a

week and routinely sleeping past noon. I was shot in the chest with a blow-dark gun,

nearly pierced my heart. I ate dog and cat food and a cigarette sandwich as part of a

fraternity ritual. I once tried to hurl my drunken body from one balcony to another in college

and was short several feet and landed on a trash can full of water, like, likely shattering

several of my ribs. I did not go to the doctor. Jared routinely spent time in actual trash

cans. It was called Oscar the Grouching. I would get hammered, go into a trash can, a

city trash can, and yell at people. There's video of that as well.

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