Right Swipes, Big City

Modern Love

The New York Times

Nytimes, Redemption, Society & Culture, New York Times, Love, Essay, Storytelling, Loss, Nyt

4.4 • 8.7K Ratings

🗓️ 30 March 2022

⏱️ 18 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Alexandra Capellini has been on the dating apps for about four years. Dating is already a fraught process, but to top it off, Alexandra has to decide if, when and how she should explain that she wears a prosthetic leg. Today, we listen to Alexandra’s essay about navigating the apps — and realizing that it’s not her responsibility to “make other guys more comfortable with meeting me.” Then, our host, Anna Martin, calls up Alexandra. They commiserate over the hopelessness of swiping in New York City, and they look at each other’s dating profiles. They celebrate their selfies, admire their use of the “closed-mouth smile” and laugh at their responses to prompts like, “Where to find me at the party.”

Transcript

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0:00.0	Love now and...
0:04.9	You're falling love, man.
0:05.9	That's not my love.
0:06.9	Love is stronger than anything.
0:08.9	You're a little...
0:09.9	And I love you more than anything.
0:12.9	You're too much.
0:15.7	From The New York Times, I'm Anna Martin and this is the Modern Love Podcast.
0:22.8	This week's essay is about dating apps.
0:26.4	If you're dating today, you kind of have to use them and using them is exhausting.
0:32.4	Bottom line, it's just really hard to attract the kind of person you actually want to
0:37.1	date by using your phone.
0:40.4	The essay is called His Comfort is Not My Responsibility.
0:45.0	It's written by Alexandra Capillini and read by Frankie Corzo.
1:00.1	Rob and I have been talking on Bumble for about a month.
1:03.6	We matched while he was apartment hunting in New York City.
1:06.9	He was handsome, funny and well-educated with roots in Boston.
1:13.1	We stayed in touch.
1:19.4	After he arrived and moved into his new place, we switched over from app messaging to texting,
1:25.3	the crucial next step.
1:28.2	Those first few days of texting we were deciding on a restaurant in the East Village.
1:33.1	Trust me, he wrote, let's try one of these places early next week.
	...

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