Hi, I'm Ricky Gibay's and I feel strangely underwhelmed about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

The suckers are not a me, I'm gonna be friends.

Hello and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend. Our podcast continues.

Despite this insane pandemic, we're all experiencing right now. We're able to do this because we're all

connected through the Ethernet. That's right. I said Ethernet.

You just learned that like two minutes ago and now you're casually dropping it in.

I have it pinned to my jacket with a safety pin, the word Ethernet, the way a mother puts a note

on a child's ski jacket. It says, be nice to my boy, which is actually a note my mom pinned

to my jacket, be nice to my boy about two years ago. No, she did. She pinned a note to her. I

remember that. I had a giant safety pin. It was like, be nice to my boy and she sent me off to

nursery school and I was savagely beaten. Then they took the safety pin off and they stabbed me with it.

So thanks to mom who's out there. She would be listening but she doesn't know how podcasts work.

So anyway, we are continuing on. We're all from our different locations but we're able to

were able to connect through technology. I'm joined by my stalwart companion, some say my soulmate,

not in a romantic way. Oh, are you talking about me? No, no, no. Matt, I was going to get to you

but you couldn't. You couldn't take it, could you? No, I missed your tender touch. Yes, yes.

You are my tender touch, son, as my soulmate. No. Yes. My wife, of course, the mother of my children

and I call her the tolerator. My wife is the tolerator. That's her position in the hierarchy.

She's the grand tolerator. But, son, I do think if you as my soulmate, I think we're connected

in many ways that are hard to explain. Well, what do you think you are? I don't feel that at all.

I think I'm your employee. Employee, really? Yeah. No, I think we're friends.

Okay, because employee implies that I pay you and then you do things for me. That's where that whole

...