RFK Jr.’s Whale Chainsaw Massacre!

Opie Radio

Gregg "Opie" Hughes

Comedy, News, Society & Culture

4.0 • 4.9K Ratings

🗓️ 17 April 2026

⏱️ 76 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Well, well, well, we are BACK. 500 feet above the pavement in NYC after a detox way out east on Long Island. It is F U Friday and we are joined by the legendary Ron the Waiter and Comedian Tony P (calling in from the lawless state of Florida).We thought we’d heard it all, but Opie is officially floored by the absolute insanity of RFK Jr.’s animal obsession. Forget the bear cub; we dive deep into the newly resurfaced story of how the now-HHS Secretary (in 2026) chainsawed a dead whale's head off, bungee-corded it to his minivan, and drove his kids 5 hours with "whale juice" spraying into the windows. We cover the full RFK Animal Greatest Hits, including the roadkill raccoon penis surgery and the Central Park bear cub prank.Plus: Ron the Waiter makes the bold claim that mermaids are absolutely real, but can’t provide any proof. Opie challenges him to "Just Prove It!" and the debate explodes. Tony P brings the heat from Florida, riding hard for the MAGA movement and Donald Trump, while Opie is venting about insane gas prices that are crushing everyone.

Keywords: Opie Radio, F U Friday, Ron the Waiter, Tony P, RFK Jr., RFK whale story, RFK chainsaw, RFK raccoon, RFK bear cub Central Park, Donald Trump, MAGA, gas prices, mermaids are real, NYC comedy podcast.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	What do you want?
0:01.0	Did you see my wife sleeping back there?
0:02.9	No, I can't see your wife sleeping. Hold on. I want to see that. No, no, no. No, no. I can't see it. Let me say. You got your wife in the reflection of the TV? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, hey, good morning, everybody. Welcome to the Opie Radio podcast with Ron the waiter and all away from Florida. It's comedian Tony P. And Ron,
0:25.4	right off the bat. I told Tony that he said the wrong thing. It's FU Friday. I go, so,
0:30.6	so Tony, do you got some FUs today? He goes, hey, I'm on vacation, bro, but I'll make something
0:36.3	off. You got to love that, right, Ron?
0:39.6	You know, the real successful people like the big stars, they're always on.
0:46.2	That's it.
0:47.2	You just went from one a week, Tony.
0:50.3	Who said I'm not on?
0:52.0	What?
0:52.9	Who said I'm not on?
1:12.0	No, that's not that. That's an expression. Like, they're always on. Like, they're always ready to work. They're always ready to go. There is no vacation. This is the big league. Work ain't nothing but a fall of the word. Live life. Dude, you need some fucking aloe vera on those fucking Santa cheeks.
1:14.5	Dude, hold on.
1:16.2	Did you even pack sunscreen?
1:19.5	Bro, you're gray and you're telling me about my... Where am I gray?
1:21.2	Where am I gray?
1:22.7	You look like Santa Claus and he lost a few pounds.
1:26.1	You look like you need to go to fucking first met and get some.
1:29.2	Look, man.
1:30.5	Tony's lived his life. He doesn't need sunscreen. He wants to enjoy the sun. He's on vacation in Florida. Where are you? Boka. You're probably a Boka guy, aren't you? No, no, no. I'm further north. I'm in Del Rey. I'm 20. Oh, Del Rey.
1:41.8	All right.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Gregg "Opie" Hughes, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Gregg "Opie" Hughes and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.