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The Virtual Couch

Rewiring Emotions: From Humor to Honesty in Therapy

The Virtual Couch

Tony Overbay LMFT

Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.9668 Ratings

🗓️ 15 January 2024

⏱️ 50 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Tony takes inspiration from Carolyn Steber's article, "Is Everyone Out Here Lying To Their Therapist," https://www.bustle.com/wellness/lying-to-therapist using it as a muse (and explaining what a muse is) to explore the benefits and challenges of therapy from both the client's and therapist's viewpoints. He delves into primary and secondary emotions, highlighting how humor and anger often serve as secondary emotions. Tony also unpacks the origin of the "what's wrong with me" mindset, explaining how children internalize emotions, leading to a reliance on external validation in adulthood. The episode concludes with insightful discussions on neuroplasticity, implicit memory, and the significant benefits of being honest with your therapist. 00:00 Introduction and Welcome 00:41 Engaging with the Audience: Social Media and Live Q&A 01:58 The Power of Muse and Self-Reflection 03:45 Exploring the Article: Is Everyone Lying to Their Therapist? 04:07 Understanding the Role of a Therapist 06:12 The Science Behind Talk Therapy 14:18 The Role of Humor in Therapy 17:47 Understanding Primary and Secondary Emotions 24:32 Understanding Secondary Emotions 24:52 Exploring Anger and Humor as Secondary Emotions 25:31 The Role of Childhood Experiences in Shaping Emotions 26:38 The Impact of Humor as a Coping Mechanism 28:27 The Power of Neuroplasticity and Implicit Memory 29:23 The Influence of Environment on Emotional Tendencies 30:04 The Role of Humor in Therapy Sessions 30:31 The Importance of Honesty in Therapy 32:02 Understanding the Role of Validation in Therapy 37:54 The Power of Neuroplasticity in Changing Emotional Responses 39:57 The Role of Therapists and Coaches in Emotional Growth 40:08 Understanding the Importance of Comfort and Trust in Therapy 44:04 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Growth To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey, everybody, and take a seat on the virtual couch.

0:38.8

Hey, everybody. Welcome to episode 409 of the virtual couch. Happy New Year. I'm your host, Tony Overbay. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist and host of the Waking Up to Narcism podcast, Love ADHD, Murder on the Couch, Coast of the Mind, The Mirror, Me. And I have a very fun episode today. We're going to cover all kinds of things. But first, go sign up for the newsletter and go to

0:44.1

Tonyoverbay.com or it will be in the show notes. And let me just say that if you TikTok or YouTube

0:48.7

or Instagram, please go find me. My daughter, Sydney and I have been hosting live question and

0:54.1

answers on TikTok. And we've done five, Sidney, and I have been hosting live question and answers on TikTok,

0:55.6

and we've done five, I think, up to this point. We're posting one today on my YouTube channel,

1:01.4

and it is one of the funest things I think I do, and that is to be able to spend this last one

1:06.8

was almost an hour and a half with my 21-year-old daughter, Sid, and answer relationship

1:12.0

questions because there are times where I do feel like I can hang when it comes to questions,

1:16.8

but then I will get a lot of questions from people that are in their 20s.

1:22.0

And it turns out that they are slightly different than those in their 30s, 40s, 50s and above.

1:27.5

And it's so fun to get her take and then just the interaction.

1:30.8

On our last live, we had just a hair under 15,000 people stopped by with over 400 comments.

1:37.4

Sid and I are both open about our ADHD.

1:39.4

It is a superpower.

1:40.9

It is just a fun interaction.

1:42.5

I just enjoy so much about it. So if you go right now to my

1:45.6

virtual couch YouTube channel, hit that subscribe button and then watch that last one. I think we

1:50.0

really do cover everything. And more are coming and we'll be bringing the lives to YouTube and

1:54.5

Instagram soon as well. So today, this is a very fun one. And as I was preparing and jotting

2:00.2

down notes, this episode almost has a vibe of what

2:03.1

have we learned over the past year in therapy?

...

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