You know what happens at the end of an argument? One person comes over and like strokes your finger.

And it's like, that was an act of peace.

Hmm. Oh, A couple of weeks ago we made a video about a concept I call weapons versus wounds.

A lot of relationships end not because someone couldn't handle our wounds,

but because they couldn't deal with our weapons.

Well, I was just on a member's call with my Love Life Members Club

and one of my members asked me a question that specifically pertained to the content in this video.

Hi Matt, I loved your video on weapons we use to protect ourselves.

Unfortunately, my favorite weapon is passive aggressive behavior.

I'm not proud of this and I want to learn how to communicate my vulnerabilities

without feeling scared that the first

would you advice be around communicating vulnerability

while still protecting myself somewhat.

The first step, Jessica, is to understand that this isn't working for you. Look at the pattern of your passive aggression and look at where it hasn't been working.

What does it typically lead to?

Ah, it leads to an escalation in the argument.

An escalation in the argument leads to even worse things being said.

We now both say things we regret. We now both end up in tears. We both end up

hating each other, angry, two days of silent treatment. And then look at the

pattern of what brings you back together. I bet you the pattern of what brings you back together.

I bet you the pattern of what brings you back together is a moment where one of you makes some kind of a,

it brings a different tone.

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