(Rewind): They Told You They Wanted a Break? Here's the Perfect Response

Love Life with Matthew Hussey

Matthew Hussey

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.8 • 2.9K Ratings

🗓️ 22 November 2024

⏱️ 5 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

What do you do if the person you are with comes to you telling you they want a break?

You’re devastated, you’re scared, and every instinct in you tells you to fight for this person you care about so much. What would you say to them?

In these moments we often do exactly the opposite of what we need to.

If you’re in this situation, or you ever want to know what to do if someone says this to you again, please check out my new video. It’s going to give you the only response you’ll ever need...

I’d really appreciate it if you would share this video with as many people you care about as possible. I believe that if a video like this was given to all of us at the beginning of adulthood, it would save us all years of unnecessary suffering.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	I believe that in a relationship we can get through anything together, but not if your version of getting through something means without me in the picture.
0:07.7	That's not the teammate that I want and deserve. Welcome to the Love Live Podcast. It's me, Matthew Hussey. Enjoy this classic clip from our archives, and thank you for being here.
0:41.9	Has someone you love and care about recently told you that they are considering or want a break?
0:48.6	What do you do when this happens?
0:50.6	Now naturally when this happens there is going to be this flood of devastation, of panic,
0:56.3	of heartbreak, of feeling like we did something wrong, of looking for a way to solve it.
1:02.2	What we have to do is for a moment, quiet our emotions as much as we can. We're human. We're
1:07.5	going to let them out. But we have to quiet them enough to have a reasoned conversation with this person.
1:13.2	And this conversation is absolutely vital because it can literally mean the difference between you wasting months or years of your life and finding something or someone that is right for you.
1:24.7	The conversation is in three parts. Number one, you ask them why they want to
1:31.1	go on a break. And you do this as calmly and as reasonably as possible because what you want is an
1:37.7	honest answer. The reason you want an honest answer is because you're going to have to use that to
1:42.7	evaluate what you do next. Now, they're going
1:44.9	to give reasons. You have to ask yourself, are these reasons to do with them? Are they to do with me?
1:50.0	Are they inside my control or are they outside of my control? All of these things are very important
1:55.5	things to ask. Once he's told you all of this, your next step is to ascertain whether these problems that are
2:02.2	necessitating a break for him are things that have to be solved from without the relationship
2:09.9	or whether they can be solved from within the relationship as a team.
2:16.4	As things should if a relationship is truly strong, if it's truly that
2:21.1	relationship that we're going to be in for our lives, it should be able to withstand difficult
2:25.8	times. It shouldn't require the team to break up for it to work. Then you ask, do you think that
2:32.0	we can solve these things by being a team together? Because I am
	...

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