your demons will define a radius for your boundaries that is completely unrealistic and stifling

for your partner and doesn't come from a loving place.

Welcome to the Love Life podcast. I'm excited about this clip today. If you've ever had trust

issues in your relationship, I want you to listen to this quick clip to learn how to communicate

your boundaries but without letting your demons from your past get the better of you. I hope

you find this useful.

Don't let your demons define your boundaries. Let your boundaries be defined by your logic.

When we have trust issues, we tend to think in very black and white terms. We think that

there might be danger in a certain area. So we take that entire area and we say to the

person, that's off limits. Let's say it's your partner hanging out with a person of the

opposite sex. In your mind, there's some danger there, right? Your demons there suddenly

start screaming danger. But in essence, the real nuanced truth of what you're worried

about is what if they're in this situation and the person I'm with happens to find this

other person attractive and this other person finds my person attractive and now there's

some undercurrent of flirtation. There's something going on there, some unspoken energy that

the two of them are feeding off of. The ultimately is disrespectful of my relationship with my

person. The ultimately is a betrayal of what we have and of me. That's the part we're afraid

of. It's nuanced. So the role that we've created is one that is incredibly stifling. One

that makes the person where we're with Phil boxed in and can lead them to catastrophic

thinking about the relationship. Now they're thinking to themselves, so because of this

relationship, I now can never go and be in the same room or do anything with a member

of the opposite sex. What does that mean for my life? Now what happens is this person

...