Review: 'The Snowman'

Brunch

BRUNCH

Tv & Film

4.5 • 603 Ratings

🗓️ 24 October 2017

⏱️ 23 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Is THE SNOWMAN (starring Michael Fassbender & Rebecca Ferguson) as bad as critics are making it out to be? We put it through our fancy new rating system to find out.

Synopsis: "For Detective Harry Hole, the death of a young woman during the first snowfall of winter feels like anything but a routine homicide. His investigation leads him to "The Snowman Killer," an elusive sociopath who continuously taunts Hole with cat-and-mouse games. As the vicious murders continue, Harry teams up with a brilliant recruit to try and lure the madman out of the shadows before he can strike again."

(The only thing true about the synopsis is the detective's name, which isn't ideal.)

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome back to another edition of Brunch Goes to the Movies.
0:02.9	I'm DJ being alongside Pete Blackburn as always.
0:05.8	Pete, how are you doing on this Tuesday?
0:07.4	A little tired, but I'm ready to go.
0:09.6	A little tired.
0:10.5	You know, I think someone needs a little Joe.
0:13.9	Hello.
0:14.6	I had some, but I might need some more.
0:17.0	You know what?
0:17.5	I'm never myself until I'm on my second cup.
0:21.9	We saw the snowman this week.
0:23.8	No, we got to keep doing that to fill time,
0:26.6	because there is literally nothing to fucking say about this movie.
0:30.3	There's a lot to say about this movie, actually.
0:32.8	You want to make a little gentleman's bet?
0:36.6	Yes. We're going to have fucking, we're going to run out of steam in like one minute. When people, people, we said we were seeing this movie, people are like, oh, awesome, they're going to trash it. It's going to be so funny. This is not going to be a love actually take down. Love actually gives you shit to work with. I fucking have like three notes on this movie because it was so fucking boring.
0:56.9	There was nothing going on. One of my notes is least thrilling movie ever. I have not been
1:03.8	thrilled. Yeah, I mean, I agree with you, but I do think that there are things to talk about
1:08.9	in what makes it so bad. okay so i well let's run
1:13.7	through it uh you guys know the four categories this is by the way we teased before there's going to be
1:19.3	a certain thing if it's low enough if it's a 2.2 or lower that means it has piece of shit of the
1:26.0	year point two is that what we decided on is that the? That's a very low threshold for like four categories. Uh, 2.2 out of 10. Yeah, I know. But like I'm saying, I think it should be 2.5. Okay, so 2.5 or lower. That gives it piece of shit of the year status. And if it gets piece of shit of of the year status, again, we're going to work in some bells, some whistles, some sound effects, maybe like a little, whir-a-piece of shit, something like that. Because I think it needs to be 2.5 because if this movie doesn't earn piece of shit of the year, what the fuck will? There is no way this is getting... and we don't do the math, we don't do the numbers
	...

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