This is a Headgun Podcast.

Ah, there you are, traveller.

Come inside to hang up your couch, put your feet by the fire,

and I shall bring you what you so desperately seek.

Root tails of magic.

Welcome back to Root Tales of Magic.

Now that Bellow has turned the anti-magic pig spilled milk into grilled bacon,

magic has returned to the Sasquatch sanctuary of the woods beyond the woods.

But the return of that magic allowed Miracle Michael to send a pre-recorded message to all of the Sasquatches,

inviting them to come join him in the next life.

Those Sasquatches all ambled pleasantly in the direction of the amphitheater now.

Alby, stir fry, bellow.

As the Sasquatches dissipate, they reveal the significantly shorter and now undisguised Virginia.

Her back is turned to you.

Alby looks at stir fry, she nods, she grabs him, and she flings him towards Virginia.

Mid-air stir fry wicks out his butcher's nice and places it right in front of his face,

heading straight towards Virginia.

Yeah, you're sailing towards Virginia. Where on Virginia are you aiming?

I am, uh, we are freezing her back right now, so I am, uh...

68 years, five months, and 11 days ago,

Virginia Kurosawa was born to three loving parents and a small farming community,

exactly three miles north of Lake Somebody.

...