Retro Can I Have My Ball Back? - Episode 1
Richard Herring's Leicester Square Theatre Podcast (RHLSTP)
British Comedy Guide
4.7 • 5.8K Ratings
🗓️ 1 May 2026
⏱️ 41 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
#1 Shelling Peas with Charley Boorman - A brand new podcast series that’s happy to admit that it’s a load of bollocks. Uniballer Richard Herring tells the story of how he came to lose one of his Chuckle Brothers, talks to other monoballs and teste experts (testperts) about these remarkable and vulnerable organs. In episode one Richard recounts what happened when he first became concerned about his weird big bollock and talks to Richard Herring lookalike and fellow motorcycle enthusiast and womble, Charley Boorman to find out how his dog helped him diagnose his own testicular cancer.
To find out how best to check your balls or the balls of someone you love (or like enough) head here https://uk.movember.com/men-s-health/testicular-cancer
For even more bollock facts and funny stories from Richard’s own diagnosis, Buy the Can I Have My Ball Back? DVD or Download here https://www.gofasterstripe.com/ball
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey dudes, thanks for downloading my podcast. You know all the usual stuff, badges, go fast and stripe.com slash badges, gigs, richardherring.com slash rahulus toper. We've got new guest news on the 1st of July at the Leicester Square Theatre. I'll be talking to Harry Shearer, Spinal Tap the Simpsons and Tom Leopold, who wrote for Cheers and Seinfeld, amongst other things. |
| 0:25.2 | They're built together. There'll be another guest as well. There's another gig on the 8th of July at the Square Theatre that I'm in Edinburgh from the 5th of August to the 16th of August. |
| 0:36.2 | We're doing 14 podcasts to try and catch me there. And there are |
| 0:40.6 | some more gigs at the Leicester Square Theatre in October, November and, sorry, in September. |
| 0:46.1 | So anyway, sit back, relax. Enjoy this fabulous Rahalasdapa. |
| 0:52.3 | Hello, my fine friends. We always want to bring you top quality entertainment, |
| 0:56.2 | and there's some podcasts from the past that you may have missed |
| 0:59.0 | in the swamp of podcasts that are on this feed. |
| 1:03.2 | So we are repeating episodes of, |
| 1:06.5 | can I have my ballback, the podcast I did in the wake of something I don't like to talk about |
| 1:13.1 | my experience with testicular cancer. It's something I've barely mentioned. There's a book, |
| 1:17.1 | of course, you can buy, and a DVD. You can buy it GoFastastastor.com if you want the full story. |
| 1:22.4 | These prototype elements of that show in stand-up plus interviews with experts on testicles. |
| 1:29.4 | What's not to like? Hope you enjoy listening to this again. Here's episode one of Can I Have My Ballback? |
| 1:37.0 | You know, I never had much luck keeping double axe together. |
| 1:45.3 | Balls. |
| 1:46.5 | They're a symbol of strength, yet they're the most vulnerable and weak part of the human body. |
| 1:51.0 | They represent masculinity, and yet, with a well-placed kick or even a firm poke, |
| 1:56.3 | the feebleous child can reduce a muscle-bound jock to a squirming heap on the floor. |
| 2:21.1 | If we're cowardly, we're told to grow some. If we're brave, we're said to have huge ones. But if it's cold, they're liable to fall off, even if you're a brass monkey. If we're in trouble, someone will threaten to break them. If we have to work hard, we might very well bust them. If we're in somebody's thrall, then they've got us by them. If we fuck up, we've dropped one. |
| 2:28.1 | Balls are a euphemism for something useless and mendacious, unless they belong to a dog, |
| 2:32.3 | in which case, for some unfathomable reason, they are the best thing ever. |
... |
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