This is the 10% happier podcast. I'm Dan Harris. Hello everybody how we doing something I've been thinking about and writing about a lot lately

is how to define success. A shrink once observed to me that I was psychologically speaking

the apex of Western man.

I believe that's the phrase he used,

and I do not believe he meant this as a compliment.

He observed that I had been conditioned

in this individualistic culture to view success in terms of money and power.

The skills I had honed in this regard were what this psychologist called I skills, meaning they were all about myself, how to work hard,

hone my craft and stick up for myself.

I was lacking, however, you skills like communication, collaboration, and compassion.

And I want to add here, this is not gooey or gawsy stuff, you skills, as the Wharton

organizational psychologist Adam Grant has argued, these days in the workplace character skills

are more important than cognitive skills.

Anyway, I bring all of this up because it was in this spirit that I got interested in the work of

Mia Birdsong who is my guest today she has some provocative ideas about

rethinking success independence individual, and the American dream.

For her, the real keys are relationships and community.

Again, I'm aware that these words might some of you come off as soft or cliched.

That's the way they came off to me for many many years, but there's a growing body of research

and thought that strongly suggests that these are actually the critical skills

for health, happiness, and success.

Birdong is the founding executive director of a think tank called Next River

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