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The Virtual Couch

Restoring Trust, Gaslighting, What if I DO Know Better? You Say Impulsion and I Say Compulsion? Your Questions, Tony's Answers!

The Virtual Couch

Tony Overbay LMFT

Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

5 • 643 Ratings

🗓️ 6 October 2020

⏱️ 33 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

How can a couple rebuild trust in a marriage? Is gaslighting really as big of a problem as people make it out to be...come on, really? (See what I did there...I was gaslighting!!). And what if I honestly, truly, at my very core believe that I know my spouse better than they do...can I tell them what to do about it? And what is the difference between an impulse, and a compulsion and why is that extremely important when talking about any type of addictive behavior? These questions, and more, are addressed in this question and answer episode. If you have questions for a future episode of The Virtual Couch, please visit http://tonyoverbay.com and submit your question through the contact link. - Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ (https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ) - Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ (https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/) and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com (http://tonyoverbay.com) to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program! - Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ (http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/) and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. - This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. - Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo (https://amzn.to/38mauBo) - Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4 (https://amzn.to/33fk0U4). The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Coming up on today's episode of the virtual couch, I'm going to answer all of your questions.

0:04.8

We're going to cover topics like trust in marriage, gaslighting.

0:08.2

What do I do if I truly believe that I know my spouse better than they do?

0:12.3

What's the difference between an impulse and a compulsion?

0:14.9

That and so much more.

0:16.5

Coming up on today's episode of the virtual couch.

0:34.4

Hey everybody, welcome to episode 227 of the virtual couch. I am your host, Tony Overbay.

0:47.7

I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, certified mindful habit coach, writer, speaker, husband, father of four, ultra-marathon runner, and creator of the Pathback, an online pornography recovery program that is helping people reclaim their lives from the harmful effects of pornography.

0:58.1

If you are anybody that you know is struggling to put pornography behind you once and for all, and trust me, it can be done in a strength-based, hold the shame, become the person you always wanted to be away. Then head over to pathback recovery.com,

1:02.1

and there you will find a short ebook that describes five common mistakes that people make when trying to put pornography behind them once and for all. Again, that's pathback recovery.com.

1:06.3

And I will try to make things very, very simple. Just go to Tonyoverbay.com, sign up to find out all kinds of exciting things about marriage,

1:13.5

my marriage course coming up, my magnetic marriage course, and some things about faith crisis

1:17.9

and things about becoming a better parent and all of those things at Tonyoverbay.com.

1:22.5

And if you feel so inclined, head over to Instagram at Virtual Couch. I have a couple of folks working

1:28.8

behind the scenes that are doing incredible work and putting up more quotes and things from

1:33.8

individual episodes. And so there's just a lot more there to take a look at. So that is all

1:40.0

of the business. So let's get to today's topic. I've been promising a question and answer for many,

1:45.4

many moons, and I continue to be grateful and overwhelmed by the amount of email and questions that I

1:51.5

get. And I've said in the past I would like to do this more often, maybe once a month,

1:56.6

once a quarter, and then I just have so many other topics that I want to get to that I

2:01.0

continually push off the question and answer.

2:03.6

But there are really good, some good questions today, so I want to get right to it.

...

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