Resisting, Stalling, Dilly-Dallying

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

JLML Press

Kids & Family, Parenting

4.7 • 3.8K Ratings

🗓️ 9 January 2024

⏱️ 36 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Kids can wear down our patience when they seem to resist or stall us with everything we need them to do—even when we're only asking them to move through the predictable routines in their day like getting out of bed, going to or leaving school, brushing their teeth, and so on. The constant pushback and struggle make it feel impossible to stay unruffled.

In this episode, Janet shares an easy-to-remember, viable alternative to the strategies, games, scripts, threats, patient waiting, or coaxing we may have unsuccessfully tried in the past (while also explaining why those responses don't tend to be sustainable). She offers examples through two letters. One parent, who resorts to eventually picking up her toddlers when they resist, shares: "My 3-year-old is getting much heavier, stronger, and faster, so the moments of resistance are becoming more difficult to overcome without struggle, and I don't know what I will do in a year or two when he becomes even faster and stronger." Another parent asks: "Is this level of dilly-dallying normal? If so, how should we deal with that? If the gentle ways don't work, threats don't work (or even make things worse in the long run), what else can we do?"

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Her best-selling books No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame and Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Wundery Plus subscribers can listen to Unruffled ad free right now.
0:05.0	Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery App or on Apple Podcasts.
0:09.0	Hi, this is Janet Lansbury. Welcome to Unruffled. Today I'm going to be talking about a topic I think many of us can relate to.
0:20.0	What do we do when our kids resist all these things that go on during the day that we need them to do?
0:27.0	It's frustrating, right?
0:30.0	When it seems like we just can't budge them or they just seem to push back on everything.
0:36.6	From getting out of bed in the morning to getting out the door,
0:42.1	sitting down for a meal, brushing their teeth, getting ready for bed,
0:46.5	going to school, leaving school.
0:48.8	This can even become a pattern that just goes on throughout the day with children, seems to be getting worse instead of better.
0:55.0	So I'm excited to get into that topic and I have two notes from parents about it.
1:00.0	What do our kids need from us? What's going on with them? How can we fix this?
1:05.4	Or at least ease this so it's not happening constantly because we're pulling our
1:10.0	hair out, right? And really this topic is more than about helping our children to not
1:16.3	resist as much. It's really about helping ourselves because this is so frustrating and reading these notes, I can feel myself getting frustrated along with these
1:27.9	parents who are sharing with me. I can feel my own stress level rising, just imagining what's going on there.
1:35.8	So I get it and I think, well I hope I can help these parents with some subtle shifts in their thinking and their approach.
1:45.0	Here are some of the shifts I'm going to explain.
1:48.0	One, simplifying, minimizing our agenda for kids to what's really needed, letting go of some things.
1:57.7	And then also simplifying by saying less, helping sooner and more readily, closing those gaps where we're waiting for a child
2:07.1	to do it, and, two, being mentally prepared in regard to our expectations for the possible
2:16.8	resistance that we're going to be facing, especially if this has been a pattern,
	...

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