And hello to you and welcome to the Richard Nichols podcast, the personal development podcast

series that's here to help inspire, educate and motivate you to be the best you can be.

I'm psychotherapist Richard Nichols and today you'll learn all about resilience.

And if you're ready, we'll start the show.

How are you doing, folks? I hope life's treating you well. And if it's not, I hope it's not

knocking you on your backside.

Life can do that, can't it, though?

It's like we're carrying sometimes so much that we can't move.

Like all the responsibilities and worries are stuffed into this massive rucksack on your back.

You know those huge things for backpacking across Tibet or something? And it's just too heavy to carry. And I get it. But in all honesty, most of us are only carrying one thing

at a time. And I know it feels like you might be carrying the last 20 years of pain and your worries

about the next 20 years, but you're not.

You're only carrying the one thing you're dealing with in the moment.

But it is hard to put all the other stuff down, isn't it?

And I do think that's the secret source to resilience, rather than just being tougher.

I follow a lot of therapists and mindset coaches on social media,

and so much seems to be about the benefits of preparing children, particularly,

for a tough world, a hard life that means you need grit and determination to succeed. And I don't like it.

It suggests that you're living life wrong if you're struggling through hard times. Or that it's your own fault.

If you're marginalised or bullied. It's odd. I think people like to blame victims for things that happen to them.

It gives them a sense of control, a reason for them to be safe themselves, if they can see in other people,

that it must be their own fault if something bad happens. It's not uncommon for women who have been sexually assaulted

...