You're listening to Comedy Central.

Ow!

Hi, kids.

I'm Mr. Costa.

And today we're learning about mathematics.

It's not trigonometry or calculus.

Isaac Newton just made all that up to get laid in high school.

No, today's lesson is about using math for something that everyone goes through sooner

or later.

That's right.

Divorce.

Let's say we have a husband and a wife.

They've been together for three years.

The first two went by real quick, but then you know how things go the last one.

It won't felt like an eternity.

Then one day he met someone who understood him better and made him feel alive again.

And we're not going to get into it, but basically his wife saw the DMs.

So now the couple has to divide everything by two, thanks to a woman judge.

I mean, gender's not important, but come on.

So problem one.

If they have a house worth $400,000 and if you divide that by two, they each get...

That's right.

...