Relationships with mothers
The Documentary Podcast
BBC
4.3 • 2.7K Ratings
🗓️ 19 March 2022
⏱️ 19 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Our mothers are at the heart of who we are, whether they are in our lives or not, but this fundamental relationship can be very challenging, with wounds that can last a lifetime. Lucia, from Mexico, asks Buddhist nun Sister Dang Nghiem, how she can find peace with her mother even though they have a difficult relationship. Sister Dang speaks about healing from events that happen during childhood and how a cycle of suffering between parent and child can be broken.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is the BBC World Service. I am Sanasathi and welcome to World of Wisdom, |
| 0:05.7 | where we explore some of the personal, moral or even spiritual issues that we come across in life. |
| 0:16.7 | Whether you have one, or one, or have lost one, a good relationship with our mother can sometimes |
| 0:23.8 | be a challenge. It is hard to think of a more fundamental role in life, but behind the role is a person, |
| 0:32.2 | perhaps that is where the challenge comes. Nusia from Mexico has found it very hard to build a successful |
| 0:39.8 | relationship with her mother, and that has caused her a lot of distress over the years. She wrote to us |
| 0:47.3 | and specifically asked to speak to sister Dan Negium for advice. We were very happy to help, |
| 0:54.1 | and here is a shortened version of their quite emotional discussion. |
| 0:59.2 | I listened to the world of wisdom, episode recovery, and hearing you say that we are all |
| 1:06.0 | reflection of our parents made me a bit worried. In my culture, my Mexican culture were thought to |
| 1:12.6 | love and show appreciation to our mothers. However, growing up, my mother was always a bit |
| 1:19.9 | angry, and I had to stop her from being violent against my siblings and me and against herself. |
| 1:30.0 | In adulthood, she has been absent for large parts of my life, and it's not there for me, even when |
| 1:40.3 | I desperately need her. When she's present, she's constantly negative, and she also |
| 1:49.8 | criticizes maybe her and my back to my children, which is very difficult for them as well as myself. |
| 1:58.4 | However, my mother is now all, and I want to accept her as she is and respond to her with compassion |
| 2:07.4 | and kindness, rather than feeling upset or angry. How can I learn to be a peace and forgive her |
| 2:16.7 | after all the pain that she has caused and continues to inflict? |
| 2:23.9 | I can hear that you feel deeply about your mother, your voice was choking a little bit. |
| 2:32.0 | Yes, as I was coming to speak with you, I was also thinking about my own mother and the turbulent |
| 2:42.5 | relationship that I had with her. And actually, I was thinking her because in my life's journey, |
| 2:52.0 | I had a chance as a spiritual practitioner to practice with her, to heal her inside of me, |
... |
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