Hello and welcome to Effortless English.

Are you ready for ever? Hello and welcome to Effortless English. Are you ready for some English?

Are you ready to learn English? I certainly hope so. Are you excited?

Well today we have a podcast called Relationships and Flooding. It's about marriage and close

relationships and one of the common problems, one of the usual problems that many couples face. Okay, let's get

started. Relationships and flooding. Dr. John Gottman, the author of Why Marriages Succeed or Fail,

identifies important ways to improve any intimate relationship.

Dr Gottman researched thousands of marriages and analyzed them to determine what causes some to succeed and some to fail.

One of the most important discoveries he made was that emotional flooding is an important cause of marriage breakdown.

Emotional flooding is caused when one or both partners get upset for some reason and become

overwhelmed by negative emotions and thoughts. They may get angry during an argument. They may sit

quietly, look calm, but be very upset inside. They often repeat negative thoughts in their head when flooded, such as,

he's so inconsiderate. She never supports me, etc. But feeling flooded isn't just a psychological issue. It has a physical

component. When a partner becomes flooded, their pulse rises. As the person's pulse rises, their mind becomes filled with more and more negative thoughts.

Once their pulse reaches 90 or more, it becomes almost impossible for them to be positive and reasonable.

It turns out that men are much more susceptible to flooding than women.

A wife or girlfriend's criticism, if done too directly, can instantly cause a man's pulse to shoot

up over 90.

Once a man becomes flooded, he usually reacts in one of two ways.

Some men will become very angry. They will yell and argue and seem to be completely

irrational. But other men do just the opposite. They stonewall. They turn off all their emotions to protect themselves.

They might refuse to talk or will try to change the subject.

...