Relationship Anxiety and Relationship OCD (Episode 061)
Disordered: Anxiety Help
Josh Fletcher and Drew Linsalata
4.9 • 665 Ratings
🗓️ 10 May 2024
⏱️ 44 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This week on Disordered we're looking at anxiety focused on relationships, specifically a form of OCD known as Relationship OCD (ROCD).
ROCD - like all forms of OCD - will glue itself to things that really matter to us. In this case, being in loving, secure, successful relationships with people we love and who love us. Someone with ROCD even when involved in what by all accounts may be a very healthy and satisfying relationship experiences doubt about various aspects of those relationships. Far beyond the usual questions and doubt that all people might experience now and then, ROCD doubt will trigger extreme discomfort and a sense of distress, demanding that one engage in rituals and compulsions designed to alleviate that sense of distress.
The thing is ... as usual ... that relief never lasts. ROCD will toss whatever assurance, solution, or peace our compulsions bring us, demanding that the cycle of doubt and rituals be repeated again and again.
The episode does include discussion of attachment theory/styles and self-esteem issues that may in fact play a role for people with ROCD, however the focus remains on treating the OCD itself before digging into what may be associated issues.
As always, the guys share some success stories from the listener community and answer a question about the difference between distraction and productive focusing of attention.
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https://bit.ly/worryrumination
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Visit us on the web at https://disordered.fm
Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, when you have questions about your well-being, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hi, Drew and Josh. I love your podcast and recently got an idea about a topic I'd like to share. |
| 0:08.2 | I would love you to make a podcast episode about relationship anxiety in the future. |
| 0:12.7 | This could cover a lot of issues such as number one, anxiety surrounding intrusive thoughts about your partner leaving you or cheating on you, even though you have a loving partner. |
| 0:21.6 | Including excessive needs for reassurance, over-analyzing your partner's behavior, searching for signs that they are in fact cheating on you. |
| 0:29.6 | And number two, the other way around, anxiety surrounding intrusive thoughts about not loving your partner enough, even though you are in a healthy relationship and know deep |
| 0:38.5 | down that you love them, including thoughts of, do I love them enough? Do I love them, or am I just |
| 0:43.8 | settling? Is my brain only convincing me that I love that person? Et cetera, et cetera. |
| 0:51.1 | Well, we'll talk about that today. |
| 0:55.8 | Welcome to Disordered. This is episode 61 or 62 of the podcast, don't remember, entitled |
| 1:02.8 | Relationship OCD. I am Drew Linzalata, one of the co-hosts of Disordered. I am a therapist |
| 1:07.5 | in training in the United States, specializing in anxiety and anxiety disorders. |
| 1:11.6 | I am a former sufferer of anxiety, anxiety disorders, and depression. |
| 1:14.6 | I'm an author, a podcaster clearly because I'm here, |
| 1:17.6 | and an educator in the community. |
| 1:19.6 | And yeah, back again for another episode. |
| 1:22.6 | And I'm Joshua Fletcher, also known as Anxiety Josh. |
| 1:26.6 | I'm a psychotherapist who specializes in anxiety disorders, previous sufferer, author of the book, |
| 1:34.0 | and how does that make you feel, and co-host of this podcast. |
| 1:37.6 | Now, when reading out this question as someone who specializes in anxiety disorders and OCD, |
| 1:44.0 | what's the first thing that |
| 1:45.4 | popped out to you, Drew, as I read it out? Definitely the uncertainty. I cannot be sure |
| 1:53.4 | that I love my partner or are they being faithful to me. I hear this a lot. It's often the sub-a very common subtype of OCD called relationship OCD, R-O-CD for short. |
... |
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