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Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Relationship Ambivalence: How to Get Clarity on Staying or Leaving | E471

Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

YAP Media Network | Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Relationships, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.7890 Ratings

🗓️ 11 September 2025

⏱️ 52 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Have you ever found yourself thinking, “I don’t know if I should stay, and I don’t know if I should go”? That painful in-between is called relationship ambivalence, and it can quietly drain years of your life if you don’t get clarity. In this episode, I’m joined by relationship researcher Dr. Merideth Thompson, who knows that limbo all too well. After staying stuck for nearly a decade, she created Partner Lab, a research-based company focused on improving relationships as a cornerstone of overall wellness. Together we’ll explore what the science says about relationship health, the “Clarity Matrix” she developed to cut through the fog, and the real-life questions that matter most when deciding whether to stay or leave. We also talk openly about staying “for the kids,” how familiar but unhealthy dynamics keep us hooked, and why actions, not words, show you whether your partner is really invested. Our goal isn’t to tell you whether to stay or go. It’s to give you the clarity and confidence to trust yourself again. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Should I Stay or Leave My Relationship? 01:43 Dr. Merideth Thompson’s Story and the Birth of Partner Lab 03:34 Research Insights on Relationship Health 09:51 The Clarity Matrix: Influence, Control, and Deal Breakers 14:06 Communication, Conflict Resolution, and Commitment 18:31 Discernment Counseling: Knowing If Change Is Possible 20:24 Actions Speak Louder Than Words in Relationships 28:02 Finding Clarity and Validation in Ambivalence 36:06 Parenting, Divorce, and Protecting Children 44:11 The Clarity Circle: Community and Support Want more support as you practice these skills? My free Communication That Connects Training will give you tools to shift out of conflict loops and into deeper connection, along with a workbook to help you put them into practice. You can also take my How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz for a clear picture of what’s working and what needs care. I’d love to stay connected beyond the podcast - join me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube where I share more tools to help you grow together. And if this episode sparked a question or idea you’d like me to explore in the future, let’s talk! I'd also like to give a very special thank you to the sponsor of today’s episode: Headway. I love reading and learning, but finding the time to sit down with a book can feel impossible. That’s why I’m a huge fan of the Headway app. I use it almost every day, and it’s been a true game-changer for my personal growth. If you want to keep learning and growing right alongside me, I have an exclusive offer for you! Save 25% when you go to ⁠⁠makeheadway.com/lhs⁠⁠ and use the promo code LHS. Let’s keep learning and growing together. 🌱 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self

Transcript

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0:00.0

when you stay in that ambiguity like I did for way too many years,

0:07.2

once you're out of it, you're like, darn, those are years I cannot get back.

0:11.7

I don't want anybody to have to live in that any longer than they absolutely have to.

0:16.8

So one of the most horrible and seemingly impossible questions to answer is this one,

0:24.8

should I stay in a relationship or is it time to go?

0:29.8

Most people who are grappling with this question have lots of good reasons on both sides of this equation and it can be terribly stressful

0:41.0

to sort through and many people feel genuinely stuck in the state of ambivalence as they're

0:47.8

trying to figure out the best path forward and so that's why on today's episode of love

0:53.2

happiness and success we are going there.

0:56.6

I have invited a relationship researcher to talk about how to assess this situation more

1:04.9

objectively to help you get clarity about the next best step for you. So that's what we're doing today and I'm so excited

1:12.9

you're here. And if this is your first time tuning in, welcome to love happiness and success.

1:17.9

This is the podcast where growth-oriented people like you come to learn how to build more

1:25.6

satisfying relationships, develop themselves, and actualize their

1:30.7

life's mission. And Dr. Meredith Thompson is a good example of what this evolutionary process

1:38.5

looks like in action. We were just chatting before we started recording. And Dr. Meredith, you were talking about how your own life experiences turned into this amazing labor of love that is the partner lab.

1:53.6

And let's just start right there.

1:56.2

Sure, sure.

1:57.6

Yes, I got divorced about nine, almost 10 years ago, and it was, it was at least 10 years too late.

2:06.2

And I was for that many years stuck in that, that ambivalent place. Like, should I go? Should I stay?

2:12.4

And really, for the most part, I stayed because what we hear so often is you stay for the children,

2:18.5

it's best for the children.

...

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