What we judge in others is what we secretly reject in ourselves.

You want to reduce your psychological suffering, get your head around this.

This clip is from the full-length conversation that I'll be releasing on Monday in just a few days time with Dr. John

de Martini. I highly recommend that you listen to that full length episode out on Monday.

In the meantime, enjoy this.

I've been blessed to do presentations for 52 years and for 46 years I've been doing work on reflective awareness.

I haven't seen anybody in a procedure that I do. I haven't seen anybody that couldn't identify

whatever they judged in them in others inside themselves when they looked. I went through

the Oxford English dictionary 40 years 40 years ago, and every possible

human behavioral trait that I could find, I underlined. Four thousand six hundred twenty-eight

individual traits. Out to the side, on that little print on the side, I wrote the initial of somebody

that I thought was the most

extreme exemplifier of that particular behavior. And then I went inside and asked myself,

all right, John, go to a moment where and when you perceive yourself displaying or demonstrating

that same specific trait, action, or inaction, that behavior.

Where was it? When was it? Who did you demonstrate it to and who perceived it?

And I found, neurotically, over quite a while, step by step, every trait.

Nice, mean, kind, cruel, honest, dishonest, you know, forthright,

deceptive. I found every single one of those in my life. I also noticed that whenever I would

judge somebody and I would tell them, you know, point my finger at them, the old fingers back were true.

And then I was really addressing issues that

I was too proud to admit that I had that I was projecting onto them. And then I did experiments

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