Red and White Flags, White Bread and Daytime TV Deportation Chat

The Trawl

Jemma Forte & Marina Purkiss

News, Politics, Government

4.7 • 867 Ratings

🗓️ 3 September 2025

⏱️ 38 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Summer’s over, the kids are back at school — and frankly, some adults in Britain could do with joining them. In this Trawl, Marina Purkiss and Jemma Forte sift through the week’s chaos on social media, from Reform UK’s genius plan to cut deals with the Taliban, to Rylan’s unexpected audition for GB News, to a bread shortage that isn’t quite a crisis.

Expect satire, sharp commentary, and clips that will make you laugh, groan, and possibly scream into the nearest pillow. Along the way, we meet Malcolm — who gifts us with the ultimate Schrödinger’s immigrant argument — applaud Rosie Holt’s pitch-perfect parody, and tip our hats to the great British sense of humour in the face of utter nonsense and a lot of painted roundabouts.

As ever, the Trawl delivers: politics, parody, and plenty of posts you might have missed but definitely won’t forget.

Jemma and Marina would love you to cast your vote for Gary Lineker as best presenter in this year's NTA's - here's the link - voting ends Sep 12th.

Vote | National Television Awards - https://www.nationaltvawards.com/vote

Thank you for sharing and do tweet us @MarinaPurkiss @jemmaforte @TheTrawlPodcast

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https://www.youtube.com/@TheTrawl

Twitter

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If you’ve even mildly enjoyed The Trawl, you’ll love the unfiltered, no-holds-barred extras from Jemma & Marina over on Patreon, including:

• Exclusive episodes of The Trawl Goss – where Jemma and Marina spill backstage gossip, dive into their personal lives, and often forget the mic is on

• Early access to The Trawl Meets…

• Glorious ad-free episodes

Plus, there’s a bell-free community of over 3,300 legends sparking brilliant chat.

And it’s your way to support the pod which the ladies pour their hearts, souls (and occasional anxiety) into. All for your listening pleasure and reassurance that through this geopolitical s**tstorm… you’re not alone.

Come join the fun:

https://www.patreon.com/TheTrawlPodcast?utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	We actually have Union Jack Bunting on our garden shed. I've got St George's Bunting, I've got the
0:05.8	Yorkshire Rose, I've got Union Jack's flags of social media, so you don't have to.
0:27.8	I'm Marina Perkis.
0:29.2	And I'm Gemma Forte, and since we last convened, Summer has said, see ya.
0:34.3	The kids have gone back to school.
0:36.3	Here's Hannah East Comedy from TikTok, expressing how many parents are feeling as they wave off their little scallywags after six expensive weeks of entertaining.
0:45.9	I know I can't believe you are back at school after the drunken summer holidays.
0:50.3	Off you fucking be somebody else's problem.
0:52.4	I'm going to miss you so much. I am not disheveled and drained from spending the whole summer with you. Mm-hmm. You with what, Mrs. Smith? Yeah, she can deal with you. Hi, yeah, you're right. Have you been waiting the car parks since half past five as well? I'm fucking done with her summer. I'm like, don't call me mummy, call me Hannah. I've been like you're cute but you got right or might it I've spent my salary buying your snacks
0:54.5	and ice creams
0:55.3	you've drying the fucking life out of me. Oh, I feel like many will hard relate to that. So in this episode, we're going to be talking about the fact that there are a lot of grown-ass adults, actually, in this country who, frankly, would benefit from going back to school and doing some cold, hard learning
1:28.7	if the rise in sales of red and white paint are anything to go by. Then in Friday's episode,
1:34.8	we're going to be talking about the rumours that are swirling around Trump's health.
1:39.3	And both episodes, you'll be pleased to know, are jam-packed with clips that will make you think,
1:44.4	laugh and possibly want to scream.
1:47.1	Oh my goodness, yes, there is a lot to get through because a week is a short time in politics.
1:51.6	I liked this post from Skashwell too.
1:54.5	No, Apple, I don't want to know my screen time for the last week.
1:58.6	Can't you see, democracy is under attack? And did anyone
2:03.7	have this headline on their bingo card for 2025? Okay, this is an independent and it says,
2:10.3	and I promise you, this is true, reform would pay the Taliban to take back migrants.
2:18.8	Zia Yusuf admits.
	...

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