Welcome to betrayal trauma recovery. This is Anne. Many of you are familiar with our safety checklist,

but I wanted to go over it today for people who are not familiar with it. So if you go to our website

and you can search for checklist or you can click on education and go to checklist, this is the

nine steps to heal from betrayal trauma. Now, the first step is open up to a safe

person. I want to go over this checklist today, for those of you who aren't familiar, so that you

know what you're looking for when you start to embark on establishing safety in your life.

So the first step is open up to a safe person. And the checklist has

examples of unsafe statements. So if you go to someone and say, hey, this is the situation I have.

Can you help me? And they respond with one of these unsafe statements, then you can know this is

someone who doesn't understand it and move on.

So go to the checklist on our website to find out what those unsafe statements are.

The second step is to make a daily self-care plan.

And I've been thinking about this a lot because it took me three years to actually create a daily self-care plan,

and I'm still not very good at it. So doing it in the thick of things is really hard,

because I've been no contact with no injury in terms of an active abuse episode for about three

years. He's still abusive in that he lies, but in terms of

him yelling in my face, that hasn't happened for a long time. So I'm still working on that,

but I want everyone to start thinking about self-care from the very beginning. The third step is

to schedule an appointment with your OB or a midwife to get tested for STDs, even if your husband tells you he's only used pornography.

This is really important because then you can get actual objective information to help you make your decision.

If you're still having sex with a known pornography user, it's good to get an STD workup once a year.

Step four is establishing a safe network. So that's a little bit different than reaching out to a safe

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