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Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Recovering From Infidelity | E96

Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

YAP Media Network | Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Relationships, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.7 • 890 Ratings

🗓️ 5 September 2016

⏱️ 54 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Healing From Infidelity, Emotional Affairs, and Betrayal As a Denver marriage counselor for over a decade, I've had an up close, front-row seat to all aspects of the tragedy of infidelity. I know with certainty that being involved in an affair is one of the most traumatic and damaging things that someone can live through. When feelings of lust and romantic infatuation overwhelm someone's core values, commitment and good judgment, families can be shattered, and lives are often ruined. In the aftermath of infidelity, everyone involved is left feeling emotionally bankrupt and broken, and with unanswered questions blaring in their heads. This podcast is my attempt to answer some of them: Why do affairs happen? Why does infidelity happen in even happy marriages? Why is everyone in a love triangle profoundly damaged by the experience? What are the early signs that an affair is simmering? Most importantly: How do you even begin to recover, not just your relationship, but yourself in the aftermath of an affair? Protecting Your Marriage From an Affair Affairs, like any other type of cancer or addiction, throw off lots of red flags and warning signs in the early stages. If you know what to look for you can check yourself, and / or protect your marriage. Early intervention is key, and I'll show you what to watch out for to prevent the nightmare of an affair from unfolding in your life. Rebuilding a Marriage After the Affair If you are in a marriage that has been shattered by an affair, I want you to know that hope, healing and forgiveness are possible. An affair does not necessarily mean that divorce is around the corner. While it is hard work to rebuild trust in the aftermath of an affair under the guidance of a competent marriage counselor many couples are able to not just heal from infidelity, but create a stronger and more satisfying relationship than ever before. I'll share the key ingredient to help you start growing back together again. Healing After Betrayal Being cheated on, lied to, and betrayed by your number-one person cuts deeply into soft places that are hard to heal. Recovery involves repairing your self esteem, working through grief and anger, and learning how to trust again -- both other people, and often yourself. I'll give you some tips for how to understand what happened, and protect yourself from future betrayals. Forgiving the Unforgivable Furthermore, hope and recovery is also possible for The Other and The Occupied -- the people who did terrible things over the course of an affair that they now feel ashamed about. No one gets out of a love triangle unscathed. When betrayals happen in the context of a toxic relationship, everyone involved is emotionally wounded in the process. Abandoning your values, and feeling that you've allowed yourself to be degraded by an affair can leave your self-respect mangled, and damage your trust in yourself -- not to mention your trust in others. The silver lining: We'll be talking about how such unique pain brings with it an equally unique opportunity to learn, grow, and become a better, healthier, more powerful person because of it. Recovering From Infidelity On this episode of The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast we are descending into the darkness of infidelity together, so that you can understand how and why affairs start, how to prevent affairs from happening, and how to rebuild your life if you have been through any aspect of this experience. I sincerely hope it helps you on your journey of growth and healing. With love, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby   Music Credits of this episode: PJ Harvey: Dry and To Bring You My Love (Albums)

Transcript

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0:00.0

This is Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby and you're listening to the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.

0:20.4

Today on the Love, Happiness and Success Success podcast, we're going there.

0:25.9

We're talking about affairs, how they happen, the damage they cause to everyone involved,

0:33.5

and also how to recover.

0:36.9

That's an excerpt from a song called Plants and Rags from PJ Harvey's 1993 album, Dry.

0:45.8

As you know, I try to find music to support our topic on each podcast, and I cannot think

0:52.7

of another artist, living or or dead who understands or who is

0:58.5

able to communicate the dark side of love better than Ms. Polly Jean Harvey. I actually had this

1:07.7

album on cassette tape in 1993 and I listened to it so much that the tape

1:13.1

actually broke and I had to splice it back together with scotch tape. I'm not sure what that

1:19.2

says about my mental state at the time, but all the songs on that album are really in line

1:27.2

with what I'm going to be talking about today.

1:29.6

So if any of this experience resonates with you, I would encourage you to check it out.

1:35.9

For those of my listeners who weren't even born yet in 1993 and have no idea what I'm

1:40.5

talking about, a cassette tape player.

1:42.9

This ancient contraption that played music

1:45.4

generally ran on either coal or sometimes bacon fat, so they were pretty stinky. And that's why we

1:53.0

had to have so many warehouse parties in the 90s is because it was self-preservation or sometimes

1:58.5

big fields, you know, just as long as the oxygen kept blowing.

2:01.7

So that's what that was about.

2:03.4

But anyway, if you want to learn more about descending into the depths of obsession and

2:09.5

being smashed to bits by a betrayal or becoming absolutely unhinged over a lover or suffering

...

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