The following podcast may be a little dirty, but forget about that.

I'm going to tell you to go to our Twitter feed at SlateJis.com.

It's Friday, September 25th, 2020, from Slate. It's the gist I'm Mike Pesca, and I'm kicked off Twitter.

I don't know why, I swear, I never liked anything. Eric Trump tweeted at me.

I have a sixth sense for shady Macedonian teens, honed during my misspent youth in a story of poker dens.

If I ever forwarded content created by the GRU, I thought I was just quoting the guy from minions.

You know, grew. Same thing with Cozy Bear. That's like Paddington, right?

And Fancy Bear. That must mean Smoky. That bear wears pants. I didn't know.

Actually, there's apparently a Twitter bug, and it's not in the do-it-me, a number of accounts were locked.

And I guess they're coming back, but they definitely have not told me when.

So I have gone Twitter dry. I did not choose Twitter abstinence, but have had Twitter abstinence thrust upon me.

At first, I was worried. Twitter's a way to connect. And then I was concerned, because I used Twitter for work.

But then I settled in, and I waited to see what would happen if I couldn't tweet.

And you know what I realized? I realized I was an operating Twitter. Twitter was operating me.

Oh, the freedom is a sentiment that you would expect in an anecdote like this. That I didn't want it, but then it happened, then it's great.

And now I smell daffodils when traipsing down the meadow. No, no. That's the surprise twist, right?

Such a surprise that you knew it was coming, just like when they bring the first guy in for questioning in the first 15 minutes of a law and order.

That guy's never the real murderer, okay? Not a twist. Just like going without Twitter has been good for me. Not a twist, because I like Twitter.

All right? I could still follow people. It's true. I could use this sleight-just account, which I have done to some extent, but I don't want to sulley it with my nonsense.

I also have this burner account named after an 18th century English noblemen who influenced the founding fathers.

But you know what I wanted to do? I wanted to tweet. When you have seven followers, you're not tweeting. You're tweeting into the wind, because damn it I had insights. I had observations.

I had things to say about that underwater beaver who's been going around.

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