Reclaiming Identity Beyond Motherhood | Vanessa Bennett (EP401)
Minimalist Moms Podcast | Simple Living for Overwhelmed Moms
Diane Boden
4.8 • 952 Ratings
🗓️ 19 August 2025
⏱️ 35 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Is motherhood supposed to define everything about who we are as women? In this powerful and eye-opening conversation, therapist and author Vanessa Bennett joins us to discuss her new book The Motherhood Myth—a resource that’s less about parenting tips and more about rediscovering ourselves as whole, complex individuals. Vanessa opens up about her own journey navigating codependency, partnership, and the pressures of modern motherhood—revealing how societal systems shape the way women experience identity and fulfillment. Together, we dive into why motherhood should be part of who we are, not the whole, and how reclaiming individuality creates healthier families and stronger communities.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- The hidden cost of tying your entire identity to motherhood
- How societal myths and expectations keep women stuck in self-sacrifice
- The importance of boundaries, inner work, and self-discovery
- Practical ways to model wholeness and empowerment for your children
- Why reclaiming yourself is not selfish—it’s essential for future generations
While I may not personally agree with every perspective shared in this conversation, I believe it’s important to engage with diverse voices and ideas around motherhood and identity. My hope is that these conversations encourage reflection, dialogue, and deeper understanding as we each navigate what it means to be women and mothers in today’s world.
Links Discussed in This Episode |
- Vanessa's Resource: Marion Woodman
- Vanessa Can't Stop Talking About:
- Connect with Vanessa:
- Website
- Book: The Motherhood Myth: A Depth Therapist’s Guide to Redefine Parenting, Reimagine Intimacy, and Reclaim the Self
About Vanessa|
Vanessa Bennett, LMFT, is a licensed depth psychotherapist, author, and facilitator known for her no-nonsense yet compassionate approach to personal growth and healing. She is the author of The Motherhood Myth and coauthor of It’s Not Me, It’s You with her partner, John Kim. She also co-hosts the Cheaper Than Therapy podcast. A former New Yorker now based in Costa Rica, Vanessa leads transformational retreats and workshops grounded in Jungian and depth-oriented psychology. Through her writing, teaching, and digital content, she helps others break generational patterns and reconnect with their truest selves.
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Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | She is so filled up by her little ones, and I love that for her. And she also has passions, right? She also |
| 0:08.5 | knows what makes her feel a sense of aliveness outside of her children. Children learn by what they see, |
| 0:15.6 | not by what they hear. Right. So if I want my daughter to live a life that is full full of love full of laughter full of rest |
| 0:25.9 | full of ease full of friendship she needs to see me prioritizing those things do you want your |
| 0:33.2 | your children to see you as a person who has no boundaries who's depleted all the time |
| 0:37.2 | who's resentful who's time, who's resentful, who's stressed out, who's overwhelmed, right? But I think that the biggest thing, |
| 0:43.8 | I guess, is re-hitting on this point of our children learn by what they see, not by what they hear. |
| 0:50.6 | Hello and welcome to the minimalist moms podcast. Is motherhood supposed to define everything about who we are as women? |
| 0:57.4 | In today's episode, I'm joined by therapist and author Vanessa Bennett to talk about her new book, The Motherhood Myth. |
| 1:03.1 | This isn't a parenting guide. It's an honest look at how we can rediscover ourselves as whole, complex individuals while navigating the pressures of modern motherhood. |
| 1:12.2 | We dive into what happens when we tie our entire identity to motherhood, how societal myths |
| 1:17.0 | keep women stuck in self-sacrifice, and why reclaiming your individuality isn't selfish, |
| 1:22.2 | it's actually one of the best gifts you can give your family. And I did want to say here at the |
| 1:26.1 | beginning, while I don't necessarily agree with every perspective in this conversation, I believe it's important to engage with |
| 1:31.3 | diverse ideas and voices around motherhood and identity. And it's truly my hope that with conversations |
| 1:36.4 | like these, that they spark reflection, dialogue, and encouragement in your own communities and |
| 1:42.2 | circles as we each navigate what it means to be women and |
| 1:45.5 | mothers today. But before we get to the conversation with Vanessa, I quickly want to share a |
| 1:49.9 | minimalist moment of the week with all of you. I can't remember if I've mentioned this on the |
| 1:53.6 | podcast before, but one of the struggles my husband and I have had the past couple of years |
| 1:57.5 | is getting on the same page about the calendar that we use. He has always |
| 2:02.4 | been team Apple Calendar. Well, I prefer Google Calendar. And it's surprising how many of my friends |
... |
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