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Therapy in a Nutshell

Rebuilding Healthy Attachment Relationships after Childhood Trauma or CPTSD

Therapy in a Nutshell

Therapy in a Nutshell -Emma McAdam

Mental Health, Education, Health & Fitness:mental Health, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 658 Ratings

🗓️ 14 November 2025

⏱️ 17 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Learn the skills to Regulate your Emotions, join the membership: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/membership Childhood trauma doesn’t just live in your memories—it rewires how you show up in relationships. If you’ve ever panicked when someone leaves your text on read, overshared on a first date, or pulled away when closeness feels scary, you’re not alone. These patterns are often rooted in attachment wounds from early experiences of neglect, control, or fear. In this video, we explore how Complex PTSD (CPTSD) and attachment injuries from childhood trauma disrupt the ability to form safe, secure relationships as an adult. You’ll learn the 7 most common ways CPTSD shows up in love and friendship—like fear of abandonment, people-pleasing, emotional dysregulation, or repeating toxic patterns. We’ll also dive into attachment styles—anxious, avoidant, disorganized—and how they develop from early relational wounds. Most importantly, you’ll discover 5 stages of healing that can help you rebuild secure attachment. From slowing down in new relationships, to reparenting yourself with compassion, to creating earned secure attachments, there are clear steps you can take to change the way you connect. Healing from Complex PTSD takes time, but healthy, lasting relationships are possible. You can rewire your nervous system, learn to trust, and finally feel safe being loved. Looking for affordable online counseling? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanutshell Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.therapyinanutshell.com Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/best-self-help-books  Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger Institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction. And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services. Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome back to another episode of the Therapy in a Nutshell podcast. I'm Emma McAdam and I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist.

0:07.0

And this podcast is all about taking the life-changing, but usually kind of complicated topics of therapy and boiling them down into simple, easy-to-understand concepts that you can use in your daily life.

0:18.8

If you find today's episode is helpful to you,

0:21.0

please pass it on to someone else who could benefit from it as well. Each podcast

0:24.5

episode comes from a corresponding video you can find on the Therapy in a Nutshell YouTube

0:28.6

channel. Also, these podcasts are educational and don't replace the advice or direction you

0:33.3

may be receiving from a therapist or other health professionals. Now please enjoy the episode.

0:38.3

Do you catch yourself spiraling after a text is left on red with no response? Or do you divulge all sorts of intimate details about yourself on a first date?

0:46.3

Or maybe you start to feel scared when you get close to someone and find yourself pulling away.

0:50.3

If any of this feels familiar, you probably know deep down why

0:54.4

relationships are so difficult to navigate. It's because love can hurt. And if you have

0:59.7

complex PTSD, when love first arrived in your life, it came with fear, control,

1:03.6

silence, or worse. When the people who were supposed to protect you caused the most

1:07.8

harm, love and fear became inseparably linked. And now you either cling

1:12.4

too tightly or push people away before they get the chance to hurt you. Broken relationships are

1:18.0

truly one of the most harmful, long-lasting results of childhood trauma. But it doesn't have to be

1:23.5

permanent. You can learn how to build healthy relationships and heal the broken parts of you.

1:28.3

Like I'm serious about this. Attachment styles can change and evolve as you become healthier.

1:33.3

You really can learn how to do this. So this video will walk you through five clear stages to rebuild secure attachment,

1:41.3

even if your early relationships taught you to expect pain. This is also you can stop settling for the wrong partners or friends and start setting boundaries and finally feel safe being loved.

1:55.0

Esther Perel said,

1:59.0

Tell me how you are loved and I'll tell you how you love.

...

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