REAL TALK RECOVERY #99: My Partner Has Lusted After My Friends. How Do I Manage Those Relationships Now?

The Betrayed, The Addicted, The Expert

Ashlynn Mitchell, Brannon Patrick, Coby Mitchell

Health & Fitness, Education, Mental Health, Sexuality, Self-improvement

4.8 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 29 November 2021

⏱️ 8 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Caller Question: "My husband disclosed three months ago that he is a sex addict. Specifically pornography and masturbation. We are in the thick of the work, and I acknowledge it’s early still. Here’s where I’m stuck: while he never physically cheated on me, he admitted that a large aspect of his addiction was a sexual fantasy- he provided me with a list of 25 of my female friends and neighbors he has fantasized about and masturbated to. I believe he is repentant, I believe he wants to heal, and that he’s working hard. But part of my work is trying to find forgiveness… and I can’t. I can’t look at these women in my everyday life without being hit hard with the hurt all over. I’m pulling away from friends (of course they have no idea why), distancing myself and my kids from neighborhood activities and friends, and I feel stuck. My closest friends who should be a support system right now feel poisonous, and I’m not sure how to process and move beyond this." We would love to have you as a guest on the podcast. Go to realtalkrecovery.com to submit your question and schedule your call! Join us for one of our "Life-Changing" retreats. therapybros.com/events Tyler Patrick | "The Wandering Therapist": Tyler is a co-founder Love Strong (lovestrong.com). Check out the Love Strong YouTube Channel for more therapy tips and skills and videos about WHOLEHEARTED living and Christian Based Recovery. Instagram: @love.strong.organization Brannon Patrick | "The Expert": Follow Brannon on instagram @brannon_patrick. For more info, find him at brannonpatrick.com. Check out Brannon's Boundary Bootcamp on his website.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	My partner has lusted after my friends.
0:04.0	How do I manage those relationships now?
0:07.0	Welcome to the Real Talk Recovery Podcast with the Therapy Brothers.
0:18.0	We're brothers, we're therapists, and we know recovery.
0:21.0	Bring your stories, your questions, your successes with real recovery.
0:26.0	My partner has lusted after my friends.
0:43.0	How do I manage those relationships now?
0:48.0	Brandon, man, it's good to be with you today.
0:51.0	Yeah, how's it going?
0:54.0	Going good, man, we've got the winner time season starting to come upon us.
0:59.0	I've been outside with my dog looking for birds lately, so that's been fun.
1:03.0	You have to get you to come up and bring your boy up and come with me for a week.
1:08.0	So I have this like designer hunt dog, and I took it up to go hunting with Tyler and his dog.
1:14.0	And my dog, but I walk like 10 yards behind us the whole time.
1:18.0	I didn't look for one bird.
1:22.0	But I'll tell you what, he's a great pet.
1:24.0	He's a great family dog.
1:26.0	Yeah, he's a great.
1:27.0	I love your family dog.
1:29.0	It was nice because he keeps my calves warm while we're walking through the weeds.
1:34.0	I got to get him out some more.
1:39.0	Well, well, Brandon, we got a really good guest today.
	...

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