Hey, everyone. Are you planning to wage a war and you need the perfect self-help book? Today's book is

The Art of War by Sun Su. I'm Kellett Erzgen. I'm a comic, a father, and I often lose the

game battleship to my five-year-old son. And I choose to think that it's because I'm a bad war strategist and not that he's a

prodigy at destroying thousands of lives. And I'm David Vance. I think a funny prank would be to get

like 50 people and then everyone go read the art of war right outside the White House.

I feel like that prank happened on January 6th.

I'm kidding. Those people don't read.

Oh, do you think I offended the Vikings?

The Art of War is an ancient text about waging warfare.

Kellen and I read it so we could crush our biggest enemy, this American life.

And this is the book pile.

We will water the fields with the blood of Ira Glass.

It's hilarious to me to think of Sun Tzu's reaction in the afterlife when he found out that his book

that was clearly only meant as a strict guide for bloody warfare that is now used in the West for motivational quotes during

Bagel Day at the office.

Like, Dave, imagine how you would feel if you wrote a book, like, on how to maximize

creativity, and then a thousand years in the future, people are like, like hey check out this book that's a great

metaphor for hunting i was trying to think of the oldest self-help books and doesn't it say

something about humans that the ones that have lasted are like this one about killing a ton of people

and then the kama sutra it was like if an alien

civilization found our destroyed earth in a million years our whole existence would be summed up as

f merry kill all right if you want to see me live i'm'm going to be in Elk Grove, California, this week,

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