Hello, guess who? It's the person you talk to every single day, many times a day. It's Stephen.

Just want to wish you a nice happy birthday. Hope you enjoy your chocolate cake. Happy birthday.

Thanks, Stephen. That was an amazing rendition of happy birthday. I try, man. I try.

I really wanted to leave a voicemail, but I was told that I, yeah,

I can't leave a voicemail today. Because these voicemails are very, very real. My voicemails are real

every single time, Stephen. Yeah. For example, Stephen, Stephen, it was my birthday and I had some cake

and I made lots of Insta stories that were actually funny.

I watched them back.

It's just it's the it's the five year old voice that you do.

And here is my chocolate cake that I'm making.

And this is what goes in it.

Yeah.

And eventually you break character and you come back to the real Jared.

I'm like, man, I just wish you were just the real Jared. I'm like, man, I just wish you were just the real Jared. I know that that's

that comedian guy from back in the day who died of heroin. Oh, geez. Who are you talking about?

What's his name? Let me, let me Google, died of heroin comedian. Comedian died from heroin.

There's probably a lot that are listed. I'm sure. It's Mitch Hedberg. Number one comes up.

Mitch Hedberg. Mitch Hedberg is funny, was funny as shit. His, his comedy was so dry like that.

He's just like, I went to the big, I went and bought a donut at Dunk in Donuts.

They asked me if I would like a receipt. I said, I do not require a receipt. The donut is receipt

enough. You know, I don't think that's funny though. It is funny because yet he did funny.

That's your type of humor. It is because I don't like comedy shows. You know, I've been down that

...