Rawdogging The Toilet with Justin Halpern

The Distraction: A Defector Podcast

Defector Media

Sports, Society & Culture

4.7 • 2.5K Ratings

🗓️ 17 July 2025

⏱️ 66 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Our good buddy Justin Halpern returns to the show, giving us the on-the-ground report from LA where ICE raids are still definitely happening. Justin also wants to talk about the MLB owners: they don’t even seem to like the sport they own, so what are they even doing here? And then, having gotten what he came for, he bailed slightly early - but not before we open up the Funbag, to answer real questions from real listeners.

Do you want to hear your question answered on the pod? Well, give us a call at 909-726-3720. That is 909-PANERA-0!

Stuff We Talked About

Justin is nominated for an Emmy!
The vibe in LA
Are the Padres legit now?
Drew’s kids roasting him at dinner
Who’s your favorite Bill?

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Credits

- Hosts: Drew Magary & David Roth

- Producer: Brandon Grugle

- Editor: Mischa Stanton

- Production Services & Ads: Multitude Podcasts

- Subscribe to Defector!

About The Show

The Distraction is Defector's flagship podcast about sports (and movies, and art, and sandwiches, and certain coastal states) from longtime writers Drew Magary and David Roth. Every week, Drew and Roth tackle subjects, both serious and impossibly stupid, with a parade of guests from around the world of sports and media joining in the fun! Roth and Drew also field Funbag questions from Defector readers, answer listener voicemails, and get upset about the number of people who use speakerphone while in a public bathroom stall. This is a show where everything matters, because everyone could use a Distraction. Head to defector.com for more info.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	We're back. We're back. It's a distraction. I'm Drew. That's Roth. You're back, Roth. How you doing? I'm back. I'm back. Drew, I'm doing good.
0:09.5	We talked to Michael Scher without you. I know. I was a little jealous about that. The episode came out good, a little hornier than usual, which I think would happen when I'm not here to keep things in check. But I appreciate all of that. We can actually talk about whether or not people want to fuck David Roth if David Roth isn't around. Yeah, but you'd be like, if I am. Oh, sex. Whoa. I really appreciate you bringing in another titan of televised entertainment this week. Yeah, yeah, to make up for you not being able to talk to.
0:39.6	Chuck Laurie.
0:40.6	We know exactly two TV moguls here at Defector.
0:45.8	The first one is sure who was on last week.
0:47.5	The other one, of course, is our old friend.
0:49.5	Justin Halpern, the guy behind Harley Quinn and shit my dad says and Abbott Elementary, which just got
0:56.9	nominated for Best Series again at the Emmys. Do you, do you have an Emmy statue, Halpern?
1:04.3	I have not personally won an Emmy. I've been nominated, but I have not. I have some golden
1:09.1	globes. I have a Peabody. Do you have a golden globe? I do. I have a P-body. That rocks. Were you at the golden globes and did a member of the Hollywood foreign press like grab your ass or like try to tickle your dick and balls? Uh, no, no one I wish. No, no, I'm not important enough to be groped.
1:32.6	Where do you put the Golden Globe? Like is it on your mantle? How indifferent is your father to your Golden Globe victory? I don't think he's even seen it or aware that I won it.
1:37.5	I keep any award that I win I put in our office. I won the Warner Brothers Pickleball
1:44.6	league tournament. Wow. What an honor.
1:48.3	Yeah, I beat I beat Jay and Bryce in
1:51.4	Studio Ops. We took them down. Nice. Did you have to advance
1:54.3	past Zazloh, then McEnroe like to get
1:56.8	to the final? No, no, unfortunately not.
2:00.2	It's a good answer to say that you just keep your awards in your office. I always, it's one of my like favorite obnoxious Hollywood affectations where like Jack Nicholson is like, I keep it in my job, you know, or whatever. Yeah, yeah, I got so many. I left it in Big Sur and a pile of bear shit or whatever. You have to be like, oh, I don't even think about that trophy. Like, I gave it to my mom or something like that. Meanwhile, like, there's definitely people who have Emmys who like mounted it on the hood of their fucking car to make sure that everyone saw that they... I think you should do that. If the pickleball trophy feels like if there's a
2:35.3	photo of you doing the Kevin Garnett anything as possible pose while holding that aloft, I think that
2:40.6	would be a nice thing to frame and put up. Pickle is nice because no matter how old you are, you look
2:45.4	like you're 78 years old while you're playing it. So I think that's pretty, pretty cool. Justin, how's the,
2:51.7	how's the vibe in Los Angeles right now? We're removed from the ICE protest, but it's not
	...

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