And I said, I'm not scared of a germ.

You know, I used to snort cocaine off the toilet seats.

Hello and welcome to patrol, where each week we open up our socials, we dive in on your

behalf and then emerge. Hours later, dazed, confused. I'm wondering how to break it all to you.

I'm Marina Perkis. And I'm Gemma Forte. And last night, Runa and I were out and about.

We went to see the great Stuart Lee do his stuff at Ali Pally. He was marvellous. He was our last Trallmeats guest. So that's kind of how that all transpired. And I was thinking actually to myself that when we had Stuart on Trall Meets, he observed that had we been born in a certain era,

Marina and I would have been put to death at the stake, which is definitely true.

And you have to take us a huge compliment.

All the best women were considered witches.

So I think, yeah, back in the day, female gobs shites like us would have been absolute toast.

And I was also thinking then that I'm so grateful that in 2026, so many of you are happy to come

and listen to us witches, blathering on. It's very cathartic for us. And hopefully it's wonderful

for you as well. And our trawlers are such a great mixed bunch, female and male witches,

if you

like. So maybe for this episode, we should all pretend that we're in a pub with champagne

and small snacks to help us all together communally. Put the world to rights. Here's Kyla Kobler

comedy who said, The Witches will not be silenced. Yesterday, I hung out on my best three for the first time in months, and we just sat in a pub and got a bottle of champagne and just loads of tiny snacks, and we just talked and talked and talked. And I was sitting there, and I was like, I fucking love this. This feels great. It's alchemy. It's spells. We're modern-day, lads. This is how we heal ladies. And they're going to try and silence us. And they're going to try and ignore us. But the more we talk and band together and use our voices. And then all of a sudden you've got long nails and your nose is hooked and you're like. That's what honestly it felt like. And then all these men are out there just royally fucking up the world, punching walls and blowing each other up. And we're just sitting there with our champagne cauldron being like, what if we tried this? Let's unpack this conversation. And it just feels great. Hypothetically, in this scenario, what do you think? Because this is how we heal each other by using our voices and communicating. So it's so important that we keep doing it and band together. What a vibe. It is such a vibe. I love having these conversations. In fact, we had, um, funny enough, Ben's old babysitter. We're still in touch with. Yeah, she's a family friend. I know. And she came over, she's a wonderful day. She listened to the pod, obviously. She's wonderful. Kerry, hello, if you're listening. And we just had this discussion. It's like we kind of like do the small talk. Like doing them and then in, in talking about Emstein, in talking about reform.

And it's just like, oh, it's just, kind of this feels so like you've unloaded something.

And then yet drinking this lovely rosé she bought around, Lady A.

Oh, recommend that.

Delicious.

Lovely, lovely.

...