If you've already seen Ran, it was probably in one of two contexts.

Either you saw it as part of a film studies class or you rented it because samurai. Either way you are a nightmare.

You film studies dorks are sitting way forward in your papasons right now preloaded to drop science about

what apocalypse now was to Heart of Darkness so Ran is to King Lear.

You feel like this is your chance to reference Noah Theater, which you don't actually know anything

about and talk about it in the context of Cura's oeuvre, which even at the most

interminable Fide Beta Kappa mixer is going to make genuinely interesting people do the electric

slide away from you in the direction of almost anyone else

including those people in the corner talking about Ingalls contribution to theories

of surplus value. No reasonable person including your spouse and or the people you have imprisoned in your basement, who have every reason to appear to be listening to you,

are going to care about your theory of how the Sengoku era is an apt setting to explore the nihilism of post-war Japan.

Listen to yourself.

Can you tell how exasperating you are?

You sound like you belong on this podcast, which is not a compliment.

Meanwhile, if you rented this movie because Samurai,

I don't think it needs to be explained to you why you are a problem.

I can only imagine you sitting there in front of your parents Sylvania,

jaw slackening as buckets of blood splatter across the screen, your hand-me-down

micronauts slipping through your fingers as you gawk at the spectacle and wonder if you

should laugh or cry.

You went on to see this movie seven times, didn't you? This and

Akira are the two movies you can mention to normals without sounding like a weaboo

...