Raising Kids Through Identity Not Pressure or Performance
The Dad Edge Podcast
Larry Hagner
4.8 ⢠1.6K Ratings
šļø 7 January 2026
ā±ļø 36 minutes
šļø Recording | iTunes | RSS
š§¾ļø Download transcript
Summary
We're kicking off a brand-new year with something many of you have asked forāthe return of ourĀ live Q&A episodes. In this conversation, I'm joined once again by Uncle Joe as we answer real questions from men inside our community about parenting, connection with daughters, discipline, stoicism, faith, and leadership at home.
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This episode goes deep. We talk about building trust with kids who feel distant, why saying "no" too often damages connection, how fathers can lead without demanding reciprocity, and the difference between white-knuckling life versus living from identity. If you're a dad who wants deeper relationships with your kids and clarity around leadership, faith, and emotional presence, this episode will challenge and ground you.
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Timeline Summary
[0:00] Welcoming listeners to the 11th year of The Dad Edge Podcast.
[1:37] Reflection on longevity, gratitude, and why this work still matters.
[1:59] Announcement: Roommates to Soulmates eight-week course starting January 14.
[2:19] What men will learn in the Roommates to Soulmates marriage training.
[2:42] RSVP details for the January 7 preview call.
[3:07] Welcoming Uncle Joe back to the show.
[3:39] Listener question about connecting with daughters at different developmental stages.
[5:14] Joe shares his experience raising three daughters.
[6:33] Loving kids without expecting emotional reciprocation.
[7:16] Why trustānot controlāis the foundation of fatherhood.
[8:08] Changing the default answer from "no" to "yes."
[9:19] Joe shares the powerful "father promise ring" moment with his daughter.
[10:41] Why fathers must make covenants to their kidsānot demand them.
[12:26] Larry shares his struggle connecting with his youngest son.
[13:26] Letting kids lead connection through their interests.
[14:12] Hiking, martial arts, and intentional one-on-one time.
[15:19] Creating unique rituals with each child.
[16:03] Capturing small moments for deep emotional connection.
[18:12] Invitation to join the Dad Edge Alliance for live support and brotherhood.
[19:51] Listener question about stoicism and discipline.
[21:27] Larry explains why he moved away from stoicism.
[22:29] Joe breaks down the appealāand dangerāof half-truths in stoicism.
[24:07] White-knuckling life vs. living from identity.
[25:00] Faith, identity, and emotional regulation.
[27:28] Comparing stoicism with surrender and relationship-based leadership.
[29:05] Psalm 23 and why dependence beats self-mastery.
[31:30] Filtering wisdom through Scripture and lived experience.
[34:41] How suffering builds empathy and leadership capacity.
[35:19] Final thoughts, gratitude, and where to find resources.
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Five Key Takeaways
- Connection with kids is built through trust, consistency, and presenceānot control.Ā
- Fathers must lead relationships without demanding emotional repayment.Ā
- White-knuckling discipline leads to exhaustion; identity-based leadership leads to peace.Ā
- Kids feel deeply seen when dads meet them inside their interests.Ā
- True strength comes from surrender, faith, and relational groundingānot self-reliance alone.Ā
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Links & Resources
- Dad Edge Mastermind & Alliance: https://thedadedge.com/mastermind
- Roommates to Soulmates Course: https://thedadedge.com/soulmates
- Episode Show Notes & Resources: https://thedadedge.com/1423
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Closing Remark
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If this episode encouraged you, challenged your thinking, or gave you practical tools to lead better at home, please rate, review, follow, and share the podcast. These conversations matterāand your support helps us reach more men who are committed to becoming better fathers, husbands, and leaders.
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Dad Edge podcast. The Dad Edge movement creates leaders of men, leaders of families, and leaders of communities. We will not only impact this generation of fathers, but the next generation as well. The kids we are raising will have better chances and odds stacked in their favor because of the amazing example |
| 0:21.2 | that their fathers emulated for them. We are here to change the world. We are here to change |
| 0:27.6 | relationships. We are here to positively disrupt this generation of fathers so no man goes to their |
| 0:33.6 | grave with regret. We disrupt the drift of busyness and replace it with razor-focused intention, |
| 0:40.3 | passion, purpose, and direction. |
| 0:43.7 | We are the Dad Edge, |
| 0:45.7 | and we're here to change the game. |
| 0:47.8 | We're here to change the game. |
| 1:07.3 | I don't know. What's up, gentlemen, welcome to a brand new year of the Dad Edge podcast. |
| 1:12.0 | And we are back with our brand new, well, I shouldn't say brand new. These are Q&As. We've done these for a long time. And we are back doing them again. I want to welcome |
| 1:17.2 | you guys to our 11th year of the Dad Edge podcast. I can't even believe we're saying that, |
| 1:21.8 | 11 years. I said this when I first got started back in April 2015, that I had ideas for 10 shows, and after that, |
| 1:30.5 | I was on God's Good Humor, and God only knows how long this show was going to last. But here |
| 1:34.0 | we are in the 11th year, and I couldn't be more excited. One quick announcement before we jump |
| 1:39.2 | into today's Q&A, if you haven't registered for tonight's preview call of the roommates to soulmates, |
| 1:47.2 | this is a course that I'm going to be teaching. It's an eight-week course, and we are getting |
| 1:50.7 | started on January 14th, and it's going to go until March 11th. Calls are going to be held on Wednesdays |
| 1:57.4 | at 10 a.m. Central, so we're going to get started at 10 a.m. Central on January 14th, |
| 2:03.5 | 2006. You can RSVP to the preview call where I'm going to be sharing everything that I'm |
| 2:09.7 | going to be teaching over that eight weeks. So I'm going to be teaching you guys how to attract |
| 2:13.2 | your wife back to you, how to build intimacy, how to improve communication, how to lead in your |
| 2:17.4 | marriage, how to even lead in parenting because that's important too when it comes |
... |
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