It’s raining again in St. Louis, morale is low, and somehow that immediately leads the show into a heated discussion about wiffle ball bats, sewer water, and whether today’s kids even understand the sacred responsibility of yelling “CAR!” during a neighborhood street game.

Welcome back to another completely normal episode of The Rizzuto Show — your favorite daily comedy show where literally any topic can spiral into a debate about Costco theft, fake Middle Eastern royalty scams, and frozen-time criminal activity.

This episode starts with weather complaints because apparently Missouri is now legally classified as “Sog City USA.” Then things get personal when Rizz reveals his own children saw the comments online after his now-infamous baby deer rescue story… and proceeded to roast him harder than the listeners did. Nothing says family love like your son publicly commenting “I’m disappointed in my dad” on Instagram.

The crew also breaks down the latest “Best Places To Live” rankings around the St. Louis area, with St. Peter’s, O’Fallon, St. Charles, and Florissant all making appearances. Naturally, this evolves into a deeply nostalgic conversation about growing up in the suburbs during the golden era of neighborhood sports. Wiffle ball. Roller hockey. Ghost runners. Tennis balls soaked in sewer juice. Homemade rules that made absolutely no sense. If you grew up in the 80s or 90s, this episode is basically a memory grenade.

Then comes the hypothetical question that derails the entire room:

“If you could freeze time… would you commit crimes?”

And buddy… these answers escalate FAST.

Rizz immediately starts plotting casino robberies, ATM thefts, Costco raids, and highway-speed experiments that would absolutely end with him stealing a Lamborghini. Moon wants unrestricted access to Area 51. Lern becomes a chaotic vigilante helping humanity one paused-time intervention at a time. And Rafe somehow invents an entire frozen-time prank universe involving Sharpies, salad tongs, and public humiliation that we legally cannot explain further here.

Because this is a daily comedy show, the conversation somehow gets even weirder when the gang discusses two fake “Middle Eastern princes” who scammed investors out of $21 million while pretending to be royalty in Cleveland. Cleveland being the perfect place for a fake billionaire scheme somehow becomes the least ridiculous thing discussed all morning.

Later, the crew dives into the world of dumpster diving side hustles, including college move-out season treasure hunting, curbside furniture discoveries, weird mannequin heads found in Tokyo dumpsters, and Moon accidentally giving away a valuable vintage chair because apparently nobody checked Google first.

This episode has:

• St. Louis nostalgia
• Family drama
• Childhood sports stories
• Weird news
• Dumpster-diving economics
• Celebrity-level scams
• Frozen-time crimes
• Costco meat theft planning
• And enough sarcastic chaos to qualify as group therapy

Basically: another flawless entry in the growing archive of “How Did This Conversation Get Here?” moments from The Rizzuto Show.

If you love a funny podcast that sounds like your smartest and dumbest friends arguing at the same time, welcome home.

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